4/01/2006

OTBL: "Write in" Out ... "Wite Out" In.


There have been many rumors in the last few weeks of voters unsatisfied with the current choice of school board candidates opting to write in their own.
With Baker's desire to be the only candidate to receive any votes, OTBL marketing research chief Dr.Bill determined a new strategy might be required to achieve the OTBL objective of taking over the Hudson School board from civil minded citizens who want to move Hudson forward.
Dr.Bill, self proclaimed braniac and Norwegian Salad Dressing Inventor conducted focus groups that determined the "Vote for Baker Only" campaign was failing to resonate with Hudson voters.
Results of the focus groups conducted in the OTBL market reseach hot tub concluded the campaign was far too positive. "It lacked that junkyard dog bite" remarked on focus group participant.
Somehow the idea was hatched. "Why not a Wite Out Campaign?". Let's just obliterate the opposition.
Here's how the strategy works. OTBL volunteers will stand outside polling places the minimal distance required by law, and sell bottles of OTBL brand Wite Out to incoming voters. ( Suggested Retail Price$6.66 plus tax ) Voters, in the sanctity of the voting booth will modify their ballots to exclude
all school board candidates except Baker. This way the "Baker only" contingent will be happy and so
will the Baker opponents when they haul some of these voters off to the pokie. But that's a small
detail the OTBL campaign team will ignore for the present.

Campaign Manager, and Press laison Dr. Wheeze admonished voters to use only the OTBL brand Wite Out and to accept no subsitute, ( like that cheap stuff from Wal-Mart)." Our OTBL fast drying, election strength Wite Out has no peer." It seems the proof is in the polling. Look at the altered ballot using
the cheap Wal-Mart brand Wite Out. It leaves tell tale marks of others actually appearing on the ballot,
while the OTBL brand left no trace of any socialist
candidates.


The Baker team enlisted some of the
most sophisticated pocket protector science wonks to color match each OTBL bottle of Wite Out with
the ballots at their repective polling place. " Achieving this level of quality for a mere $6.66 per
0.7fl.oz bottle is a bargain not matter how you look at it. Plus it has the extra advantage of insuring a Baker
victory on tuesday." I like this strategy because there's nothing positive about it. We just wipe
the Socialist, Collectivist Big Spenders off the Ballot and that's all there is too it." We'll wait til Wed. to hear from the "pencil necked " teacher spouse and his bodyguard, but by then it'll be too late. James Baker will occupy all three of the open seat on the school board and the play fair crowd won't be able to do a thing about it.
Dr. Wheeze's final comment was. " I smell victory, (or is that the laquer thinner in the Wite Out)?

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