I drew this toon for my buds at Above The Borderline. Why a mutant Karl Marx/Teddy Roosevelt hybrid riding a skunk? I have no freakin' idea -- I came in late. But that's what they desired and I aim to please. Do YOU need toon-type illustration for your project? Contact me, we'll work somethin' out. Conservatives, too -- barring white-supremacy or Tim McVeigh-type stuff, of course. I'm an equal-opportunity ink-stained wretch, as mercenary as the next socialist pinko. Honest.
(ATBL Admin note: We apologize for the shameless pandering to free market capitalism expressed in Fat Jon's note above. Obviously, he does his whoring on both sides of the political street -- the difference being our side is a labor of love and the other side is a cheap trick.)
To see more of what happened to kids with ADD before the introduction Ritalin, check out the cartoonist's web site @ PO'd Toons.
Flatulence tax raises stink with St. Croix County farmers
Western Wisconsin farmers are fighting a proposed tax on the flatulence emitted by their sheep and cattle. The move is part of the St. Croix County board of supervisors' plan to meet its commitments under the Kyoto Protocol on global warming and to keep order at local school board meetings.
Scientists estimate that methane emitted by farm animals is responsible for more than half of the country's greenhouse gases. Flatulence from cows, sheep and other ruminants is a serious environmental problem, accounting for about 15% of worldwide emissions of methane - one of the most potent of greenhouse gases. Farmers are arguing that the tax needs to be levied on the blog site known as www.ontheborderline.net, because the site is responsible for producing substantially more bullshit then all the cows, sheep and lamas in the United States combined. OTBL'ers have decided to sponsor at study by noted junk scientist Steve Milloy to debunk the charges being made by the local farmers. When contacted about the study, Milloy said it was in its initial stages, but added, "if the OTBL'ers can come up with the cash he can surely prove the farmers are tied to a group of radical environmental terroists who are in league with islamo socialist scum conspirators who are intent on puting the health of people on this planet ahead of corporate profits."
This is another sheepish attempt by local government as it cowers into submission from the internal pressure generated by the OTBL bloggers. One local socialist scum conspirator believes the government is tired of evacuating it meetings every time the OTBL'ers show up to protest. The proposed flatulence tax is expected to raise $79 a year which is equitable to the round trip gas mileage to an unnamed golf course in Eau Claire.
at 9/16/2006 Posted by Sunny Badger
GOP Plans More Negative Ads Than Ever
Republicans are planning to spend the vast majority of their considerable financial war chest over the final 60 days of the campaign attacking Democratic House and Senate candidates over personal issues and local controversies, GOP officials said in The Washington Post on Sunday. The National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) plans to spend more than 90 percent of its $50 million-plus advertising budget on what officials described as negative ads. Because challengers tend to be less familiar than incumbents, they are more vulnerable to having their public image framed by the opposition through attacks and unflattering personal revelations. GOP officials said internal polling shows Republicans could limit losses to six to 10 House seats and two or three Senate seats if the strategy works. Democrats need to pick up 15 seats to win control of the House and six to regain power in the Senate. Republicans plan to attack Democratic candidates over their voting records, business dealings, and legal tussles, the GOP officials said.
From the Washington Post:
In a Pivotal Year, GOP Plans to Get Personal
Millions to Go to Digging Up Dirt on Democrats
"Opposition research is power," said Rep. Thomas M. Reynolds (N.Y.), the NRCC chairman. "Opposition research is the key to defining untested opponents."
The Republican National Committee, meanwhile, has enlisted veteran party strategist Terry Nelson to run a campaign that will coordinate with Senate Republicans on ads that similarly will rely on the best of the worst that researchers have dug up on Democrats. The first ad run by the new RNC effort criticizes Ohio Rep. Sherrod Brown (D) for voting against proposals designed to toughen border protection and deport illegal immigrants.
Because challengers tend to be little-known compared with incumbents, they are more vulnerable to having their public image framed by the opposition through attacks and unflattering personal revelations.
Contact Mark Kennedy's Office and tell him:
"Now is not a time for slime"
Fax: (320) 259-0786
at 9/16/2006 Posted by Andy Rand
The company announced it would cut 10,000 more white-collar positions in addition to offering buyout and early retirement packages to all of its 75,000 hourly employees. It also suspended its dividend.
Wall Street seemed unimpressed. Ford's shares slumped nearly 12 percent amid disappointment that the automaker didn't do more to address rising health and pension costs, falling market share and intense competition from Asian manufacturers whose models have enthralled buyers looking for gas-sipping cars and trucks. Read Story:As President Bush would say: "The economy is strong and getting stronger".
at 9/15/2006 Posted by Mikhail Ivanovich
MADISON, Wis. (AP) - Republican Mark Green's campaign acknowledged Friday it is using actors in a new television ad in which the gubernatorial candidate criticizes admissions and tuition policies in the University of Wisconsin System.
The 30-second ad is scheduled to begin running statewide next week, said Green campaign spokesman Luke Punzenberger, who acknowledged the use of actors in response to questions from The Associated Press.
Green, a congressman from Green Bay, is challenging Democratic Gov. Jim Doyle in the Nov. 7 election and has made rising tuition in the UW System on Doyle's watch a theme in the campaign.
Doyle's campaign pounced on the revelation late Friday, hours before the two candidates were to square off in their first debate.
"U.S. Rep. Green can't find any real middle class and working families to buy the cheap distortions that he's spinning," said spokeswoman Melanie Fonder. "If you don't have any real Wisconsin families who support those distortions, I guess you have to find some make-believe ones."
The ad features Green and his wife, Sue, sitting next to two couples at a high school football game. One couple claims their son has been put on a waiting list for an unidentified UW school even though he was on the honor roll.
"They are letting out-of-state kids in who have worse grades than the Wisconsin kids who don't get in," one male actor says.
President Bush, a legacy pledge to Yale, was not contacted for comments on this story.
at 9/15/2006 Posted by Our Poop
I was over at Wal-Mart today buying the new Dixie Chicks CD and I ran into the Admin for www.ontheborderline.net. He too was shopping in the CD section. I think he was looking for Pink's latest CD. I mentioned that I noticed that he had redone his blog and was displaying all kinds of advertisements. He said that's all part of their corporate strategy to become millionaires and financial the 2008 presidential campaign of Steve Milloy and Ludwig von Mises. When I mentioned that von Mises had been dead for years, he said they knew that, but still they he would do a better job than W. On that note, I mentioned I saw the picture with all the OTBL blog heavy weights sitting in the front row of Bush's Hudson appearance in 2004. He said that was in the days before they discovered duct tape.
Concerning what type of advertisement he would allow on his blog, the Admin said only products that represent our values. After that there was a long pause in the conversation, as he fumbled with a Justin Timberlake CD. To break the silence, I asked Admin why he always wore sunglasses in public. I suggested that by removing his sunglasses it would give the world a chance to see his soul. After all, the eyes are the window to the soul. At that point, he turned to leave and said there's nothing to see.
at 9/15/2006 Posted by Kitty
Joining OTBL's executive staff, legendary pre-school (that's private pre-school) chef, Baby Emma, will be sharing her favorite recipes with OTBL'ers on a regular basis. Being the open-mind, poster child of neo-con culinary creationism, Emma's recipes are sure to help turn your next dinner party into an evolutionary event.
Today Emma treats us to her recipe for CW's Wing-nut Fruit Cake. This is just in time for the holidays! It goes great with her Redneck-n-Green Slime topping.
A handful of disgruntled wing-nuts -- preferably crushed
A sprinkle or two of Ludwig von Mises quotes
An unhealthy dose of Any Rand irrationality
A mention of the FA Hayek book "The Road to Serfdom"
A black-n-white mixture of stale right-wing media banter
Add a few Constitutional Amendments, preferably the 1st and/or 2nd*Note: Never use the 16th Amendment because it mentions the words"collect taxes."
Throw in a couple of half-baked ideas about the pending slide into one-world government.
To spice up this dish, one local economist recommends adding a few elephant droppings.
For a more international flavor, throw in an insult concerning the French.
Once you have mixed the above ingredients into an incomprehensible consistency of dangerous ideas, fold it into the 10 Commandments and set it in a cold, dark place without any heart and let it blow up into the shape of ignorance and self-righteous hypocrisy.
When complete, glaze over with “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” and you are ready to stuff this down the throats of your family and friends.
Please note: During the preparation process, totally disregard the stench and odor that overtakes the surrounding community. If your neighbors complain, tell them you don't have to take responsibility for the odor you create. Remind them that your rights on this issue are cut-n-dry. There is no gray area. It is black-n-white like a skunk.
Hope you enjoy this recipe. Future recipes will include Tom DeLay's Jail House Stew and Ralph Reed's Christian-Right Casino Casherole.
If you have any suggestions or would like to submit your own recipes, use the comments section.
Bone head appetite
at 9/14/2006 Posted by JPN
Bush supporters falsely quote Lincoln as advocating arresting, exiling or hanging members of Congress who damage military morale in wartime.
Supporters of President Bush and the war in Iraq often quote Abraham Lincoln as saying members of Congress who act to damage military morale in wartime "are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled or hanged."
Republican candidate Diana Irey used the "quote" recently in her campaign against Democratic Rep. John Murtha of Pennsylvania, and it has appeared thousands of times on the Internet, in newspaper articles and letters to the editor, and in Republican speeches.
But Lincoln never said that. The conservative author who touched off the misquotation frenzy, J. Michael Waller, concedes that the words are his, not Lincoln's. Waller says he never meant to put quote marks around them, and blames an editor for the mistake and the failure to correct it. We also note other serious historical errors in the Waller article containing the bogus quote.
Read more@ FactCheck.org.
at 9/14/2006 Posted by Sunny Badger
Here's a Story you won't hear parroted on OTBL.
Junk Journalist John (Jethro ) Stossel promotes 1st cousin marriage. Where's (send me to congress to defend marriage ) Paul R. Nelson when you really need him?
"I'd always thought marrying a blood relative as close as a cousin was immoral, and certainly risky if you plan to have kids. Conventional wisdom says only primitive people who live in isolated places marry cousins. It leads to stupid children. But that's a myth.
It's the sort of myth that leads to stupid laws. Half the states in America have banned cousin marriage, but there's no good reason for it. "
See full story
at 9/13/2006 Posted by Andy Rand
Afghan Dating Service Fills Niche
Get ready for yet another OTBL business success story. The internet venture capital division of Ontheborderline.nut announced today the launch of their latest enterprise Love for Life, an online dating service designed with the senior Afghani in mind. OTBL investment executives has scoured the globe for unique business opportunities and are certain that this one will be a gold mine.
Inspired by the personal love life of renowned OTBL blogger Luke, Love for Life promises to fullfill the secret fantasies of every aging Afghani.
An initial public offering of stock is expected within months, however the ontheborderline.nut venture capital division is seeking investors now for this exciting new opportunity. Get in the ground floor, contact N.Onimous @ ontheborderline.nut and tell him Mikhail sent you.
at 9/11/2006 Posted by Mikhail Ivanovich
Below is an interesting editorial that ran in the St. Paul Pioneer Press last week. It frames the current Bush administration, ideological spin game in facts instead of manipulated fanaticism.
Anything is plausible if the facts don't matter
BY PAUL MULSHINE
MSNBC's Norah O'Donnell was chatting recently with President Bush's counselor Dan Bartlett about the administration's recent effort to recast the so-called "war on terror" as a remake of World War II.
"The ideological struggle of the 21st century, the terrorist organizations that we're after in this war on terror, is very similar to ideological struggles that we faced during World War II when we fought Nazism and communism," Bartlett said.
It's not merely that the Bushies have no idea who the enemy is in this current war. They can't even decide who the enemy was in World War II. In fact, they seem not to have the slightest clue to the history of that era. Later in that same interview, O'Donnell played a clip of Donald Rumsfeld:
"In the decades before World War II, a great many argued that the fascist threat was exaggerated or that it was someone else's problem," he said. "I recount that history because once again we face similar challenges in efforts to confront the rising threat of a new type of fascism."
It is in fact true that in the run-up to World War II, many argued that the fascist threat was exaggerated. But here's the problem for Rumsfeld: They were almost entirely conservatives. The Republicans, chief among them Ohio Sen. Robert Taft, were isolationists.
"The president intends to get us into war," said Taft in October 1941. "He doesn't want it now, but step by step he'll lead us in."
It was the Democrats, not the Republicans, who were hot to trot against Hitler. The Republicans wanted to stay out of the war. It's not hard to see why. They were right-wingers. Up until Pearl Harbor, they thought the threat to America from the Soviets was greater than the threat from the Nazis.
at 9/11/2006 Posted by EastWing
Below are a few interesting articles that give insight into the "truth and honest" of the corporate spin world. Included are a few insights into Steve Milloy, the Junkscience darling of our evil blog neighbors at OTBL.
Corporate spin can come in disguise
To get their views in the mainstream, some companies help finance columnists, whose work can appear in print as independent opinion.
By BILL ADAIR
Times Washington Bureau Chief
Published September 10, 2006
Other stories by Bill Adair:
When tobacco needed a voice, CAGW spoke up and profited
For price, watchdog will be an advocate
at 9/10/2006 Posted by EastWing