ATBL's Kitty Litter Scoops HSO on OTBL BS

School Board Candidate Jim "Bullet" Baker
Gets Top Endorsement
Of the Anti-Community Blog Site: www.ontheborderline.net
Unedited, Unabashed and Unlikely,
Kitty Gets Down And Dirty With A "Bullet"

Greetings dear readers!

As you know the school board elections are April 4 and the endorsements are coming in for the various candidates. We have learned that Jim "Bullet" Baker has recieved the top endorsement by the OTBL blog site -- the only news source in the St. Croix Valley that is not part of an ever expanding conspiracry that involves the police, government officials, teenagers selling duct tape at Fleet Farm, black helicopters, the League of Women Votes and extraterestials stationed at the UFO base in Elmwood, Wisconsin.

Of the six school board candidates, Baker did quite impressive in the OTBL endorsement rankings. See the ranking results below:

1. Jim Baker
2. James Baker
3. Jim "I'm Not Related To Tammy" Baker
4. James "Aliens Abducted My Signs" Baker
5. Jim "Love Those Brownies" Baker
6. James "There's no ET in Quit" Baker

Jim you got to be feeling good going into the final stretch of the election contest. I really admire you ability to keep running for the school board. Even though you've been soundly thrashed in those elections, you are running again. My question to you is why?

The Dukes of Hudson

Hey boy, hope you're keeping an eye on all those
Socialist bumperstickerists.
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Union Police Pac Strictly Enforces Campaign Sign Law

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FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS

Brian Bell was the standout candidate at the Hudson School Board forum on Thursday. A product of public education, a firm supporter of public education, and a man of intelligence and drive. No doubt Mr. Bell will have a long run on the school board, and will likely be board president someday - moving the school district forward into the 21st Century. Things bode well for the Hudson School District because community-minded individuals are stepping forward to carry the ball. Brian Bell, Tracy Habisch-Ahlin, Tom Holland, Priscilla Wyeth, Annette Cook, Nancy Donovan, Mark Kaisersatt, Cindy Crimmins, Dick Muenich, and Dan Tjornehoj are just the tip of the iceberg.

Take note Hudson Anti-Public Education Group, do not ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for THEE.











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SOURPUSS CANDIDATE ASKS FOR YOUR BULLET VOTE

At the Hudson School Board election forum on Thursday, sourpuss candidate James "Jabba" Baker made an unprecedented move in American politics. He requested that voters give up their right to vote for three candidates and cast only one vote - for him!! Apparently, he felt that a bullet vote for Baker was his only chance of succeeding - after two previous election failures. The crowd at the forum was so impressed by his lumpish negativity that they eagerly agreed to give up their constitutional right to vote for any other candidates, just so he could finally get what he wants (whatever the hell that is) - NOT!. In fact, candidate Baker failed to explain to the group what would happen if everyone followed his plea to bullet vote for him. Would the school board end up with just five members instead of seven? Mr. Baker, don't you know that bullet voting is banned by the emperor??







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"They're Coming To Take Me Away Ha Ha..."

Keep in mind there are local school board elections coming up. They conspiracy-around-every-corner bloggers in Hudson and New Richmond who operate at the www.ontheborderline.net blog are backing the following cnadidates:
Hudson: James (Not relation to Tammy) Baker

New Richmond: Rick Hinz and Bob Sievert

Just thought you'd like to know who the fruitcake fringe is endorsing. If you think I'm kidding about the "fruitcake," go check out that site for yourself.



Father Goose Fairy Tales:

OTBL Ryhmes With Hell

There once was a Hudson blog called OTBL
You could agree with them or go to hell.
They were right and everybody else wrong,
"We hate public schools and unions" was their song.

From their narrow minded internet soap box,
They painted everything a conspiracy or hoax.
24X7 they discussed an idiocracy sounding Greek,
But they only created a forum that did reek.

Their cries of muffled free speech
Stunk like dead fish on the beach.
In their minds, they soared like a bird,
but the community saw a floating turd.

With Austrian economics they'd run this town.
But duct-taped lips revealed them as the clown.
Making fun of hyphenated names while looking to the past,
They forgot about Jesus and the first being last.

Basking in the darkness of conspiracy mountain,
They clutched Ayn Rand's head at the fountain.
Their hole got deeper and more boring,
When their lights went out, we were snoring.

Jack Bauer & Fiends Move To Hudson School District

Two-Names Attacked by No Brain

Mr. taxmemore has defamed the League of Women Voters on OTBL!! He claims they rigged the Hudson School Board candidate forum by pre-writing the questions and giving them - in advance - to their favored candidates. WHAT A CROCK!! LWV found Carrier Catt is rolling over in her grave at the anonymous and unsubstantiated slander of the hooligan calling himself "taxmemore."
















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TAX BOY CHAINED TO NUT ASSEMBLY LINE

The Hudson Nut Factory has hired prison guards to supervise its nonunion assembly line workforce. Management made its position clear: "We can't let our workers come and go as they please without supervision. We'd never package enough nuts to cover the holiday rush." Nonprofessional slave worker Tax Boy whimpered, "Ouch, can you loosen the chains a little bit?"





























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Attention Bill O'Reilly: Easter Bunny Evicted

Government V. Pagans V. Christians

St. Paul civil rights chief says non-Christians might find the holiday decoration offensive

A toy rabbit decorating the entrance of the St. Paul City Council offices went hop-hop-hoppin' on down the bunny trail Wednesday after the city's human rights director said non-Christians might be offended by it.
The decorations — including the stuffed rabbit, Easter eggs and a handcrafted sign saying "Happy Easter," but nothing depicting the biblical account of Christ's death and resurrection — were put up this week in the office of the City Council by a council secretary.

Read more: St. Paul Pioneer Press


“EASTER (es’ter). Ostara, or Eastre, was the goddess of Spring in the religion of the ancient Angles and Saxons. Every April a festival was celebrated in her honor. With the beginnings of Christianity, the old gods were put aside. From then on the festival was celebrated in honor of the resurrection of Christ, but was still known as Easter after the old goddess.”

Pagan origins of Easter

Pew: President Bush In One Word

PEW RESEARCH CENTER POLL
Released March 15, 2006

The changing impressions of the president can best be viewed by tracking over time how often words come up in these top-of-the-mind associations. Until now, the most frequently offered word to describe the president was "honest," but this comes up far less often today than in the past. Other positive traits such as "integrity" are also cited less, and virtually no respondent used superlatives such as "excellent" or "great" ¬ terms that came up fairly often in previous surveys.

The single word most frequently associated with George W. Bush today is "incompetent,” and close behind are two other increasingly mentioned descriptors: "idiot" and "liar." All three are mentioned far more often today than a year ago.

Rhoades Menitoned In Republican Assemblyman's Misconduct Trial

Hudson Republican Linked To Misconduct Trial

Kitty Rhoades' name is among the names of about two dozen Republicans and their operatives that surfaced during testimony in state Rep. Scott Jensen's misconduct trial, suggesting some got taxpayer-funded campaign help from state workers or were involved in campaign activities on state time.

Read more: Read more

GM Offers Buyout to 126,000 Union Workers

DETROIT — In one of the largest buyout plans in U.S. corporate history, General Motors (GM) will offer money to about 126,000 hourly employees at its plants and at supplier Delphi (DPHIQ) to quit their jobs. GM will offer buyouts to all its United Auto Workers employees, about 113,000, a crucial step toward saving itself financially. The world's largest automaker said in November that it wants to shed 30,000 blue-collar workers.

Read more: USA Today

Today In Labor History

March 23
1918: Trial of 101 Wobblies, charged with opposing the draft and hindering the war effort, begins in Chicago.

1932: Norris-La Guardia Act restricts injunctions against unions, bans yellow dog contracts.

President Nixon orders 30,000 troops to New York City to break postal strike - 1970

1974: Coalition of Labor Union Women (CLUW) founded in Chicago by some 3,000 delegates from 58 unions and other organizations.

Read more: Big Labor

Quotes of Note: Rachel Carson

"We stand now where two roads diverge. But unlike the roads in Robert Frost's familiar poem, they are not equally fair. The road we have long been traveling is deceptively easy, a smooth superhighway on which we progress with great speed, but at its end lies disaster. The other fork of the road—the one "less traveled by"—offers our last, our only chance to reach a destination that assures the preservation of the earth."

Read more: Rachel Carson.org

Pre-Election Fore Play

Coming Distractions: Bobzilla!

Study Shows: Whiny kids = conservative adults

This Might Explain What's Going On Over At The www.ontheborderline.net Blog...

Headlined: "You Mean They Really Are Whiny Ass Titty Babies?," Susie Madrak points to a Berkeley study, published in the Journal of Research Into Personality, showing that whiny 3- and 4-year-olds... tended to grow up conservative, and turned into rigid young adults who hewed closely to traditional gender roles and were uncomfortable with ambiguity.

Read more: Alert Net

St. Croix County is the 90th fastest-growing county in the US

Wisconsin's St. Croix County -- near the Twin Cities -- is the 90th fastest-growing county in the country. Its population increased 3.9 percent between July 2004 and July 2005.

Read more: Channel 3

PS: This goes for you Jack Bauer

New Richmond Do Groupie Jack Bauer Sez:

"They Wouldn't Punish Them Kids For That! It Ain't Like No Bomb Threats And Detention Is All Them Bomb Threaters Should Gets"

Cobb County Schools police are looking for Jazzcelyn D. Glover, 20, of Atlanta, in connection with two cases of entering Cobb schools and stealing credit cards and other items from school employees. School police have secured a warrant for her arrest.

Read more: Atlanta Constitution

DIVORCE BORDERLINE STYLE

Killbear: The latest celebrity breakup has shaken all of BorderlineCounty to the core. Today it was announced the Dr. Wheeze and the Hudson Star-Observer have divorced. Wheeze wasted no time in remarrying, tying the knot with his lovely trophy OTBL. We are fortunate to have Dr. Wheeze here with us today to discuss these recent events in his life. Welcome, Doctor.

Wheeze: Thanks, Chris.

Killbear: I'm surprised to hear that you moved so quickly from divorcing the HSO to marrying OTBL. Do you think you were emotionally ready to make this move? Won't you be tempted to boomerang back to the HSO?

Wheeze: You mean cheat on OTBL?

Killbear: Yes. You realize that OTBL has ten readers while the HSO has thousands. Can you really cut off all ties? Will you be tempted to ghost write letters for Dr. Frazzy? Will you find yourself handing copies of your school board speeches to the HSO education reporter, hoping she will quote you in the paper? Heck, will you phone the HSO editors and unleash a load of verbal crap just for old times' sake?

Wheeze: No Chris. I take my vows with OTBL very seriously. When I said, "Take my nuts as a sign of my love and fidelity," I meant it.

Killbear: Everyone knows that it was your romance with the HSO that made you infamous in the first place. Your letters, Dr. Bil's letters, the HSO nonstop coverage of RAFT antics, gave you high exposure. Do you feel you owe the HSO some alimony for the support it gave you over the years?

Wheeze: Fortunately, the HSO and I signed a prenuptial agreement. I agreed up front that, upon separation, I would pay the HSO one-half of my net worth. So, that leaves me with just one can of holiday nuts.

Killbear: They say that divorce is hardest on the kids. Do feel that is the case in your situation?

Wheeze: From what I have been told, the students in the Hudson school district are managing just fine with my decision.

Killbear: One last question, Dr. Wheeze. Were you invited to the Hudson Star-Observer Super Spectacular Extravaganza Divorce Celebration Partaaaayyy!!??

Wheeze: No.

Killbear: Thank you for being with us today Dr. Wheeze. On your way out, please take this "Support Hudson Schools" bumper sticker as a sign of our love and fidelity.




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New Richmond Do Do Gang Announces Fundraiser

The Jack Bauer Village Idiot Doll
In order to pay for the internet connections that allow members of the New Richmond Do Do Gang to continue to post slander, lies and misinformation on the www.ontheborderline.net blog site, the DDG will be selling the Jack Bauer Village Idiot Inaction Figure for a very limited time.


These toys are NOT from everyone. If you can drool out of both sides of your mouth, don't even think about purchasing this soon to be junk collectors item. If you think you're dumber than a box of rocks, this toy may be too advanced for you. If you think reading an entire Dr. Bill OTBL post is more exciting than watching paint dry, keeping walking. If you can't figure out what "dratsum" spelled backwards and think Bobzilla was joking about the 24X7X365 school year calendar, be careful of the lid falling the next time you get a drink of water.

If the truth is something you run away from, you are definitely part of the target market of this. If 1 + 1 is a difficult math equation for you to solve, buy now. If you think there's a vast conspiracy in St. Croix County involving the police, government officials, the local school administrations, public school teachers and the night janitor at the Lowry Hotel, you probably already have two of these and will probably want to order the optional black helicopter.

The Do Do Gang will be selling these inaction figures outside the New Richmond Middle School during any bomb threat evacuations. You can also pick them up at any Do Do Gang public meeting, if you're invited, know the meeting's secret location and have that night's password.

And because "they care about the kids," the Do Do Group will be handing these dolls out to any NR middle school students who choose to stand out in front of the school on -30 degree mornings wearing shorts and not having the good sense to go into to the warm building because that ain't cool...

OTBL MASCOT ALSO GIVES UP THE FIGHT

The OTBL junkyard dog mascot called Admin Kilber this morning and told
him that he is staying home because he is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" asks Kilber.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," he said in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?" asks Kilber

"I can't see my ass coming into work today."

Two Perspectives- Compare and Contrast

Quote #1 from "Donkeyshot" verbose OTBL blogger.

"I think that most children start out brilliant and I think that our government schools, and their resulting chaos, make our brilliant, freedom-loving children into much less than what God intended."

Quote #2 From HSO candidate profiles. ( For those who recently cancelled their subscriptions and feel good about it )

"Holland has a high opinion of the education his children have received in Hudson’s public schools. “I have yet to meet a teacher who wasn’t committed and caring about the work they were doing and the kids they taught. It appears to be a higher calling and not just a paycheck to them. My son has received an appointment to the Naval Academy and that is due in large part to the public education and the opportunities he received here.”

















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I guess candidate Holland's son must be one of those kids that the Government Schools ruined. Any Naval cadets over ontheborderline?

pssst... psssst... CURT... pssst ….

Dr. BillD lives in Bloomington, Illnois....it's not Mississippi.

Ill-i-nois...that's the perfect name of a state for him...He's the "I" in making people "ill" with his "noise." Get it? He’ll be back soon…..no need to get testy….we were just kidding…..pointing out obsurdity by being obsurd...later...Hayward's a nice place to relocate to.

Blog For Sale: Charge It

Right-Wing-nut Fruitcake Borderline Blog $14,113.50

Left-wing Collectivist, Statist, Socialist,
Fun Loving Abovetheborderline Blog $1,693.62

Spoofing, Mocking, Laughing and
having fun at ontheborderline.net's
expense. PRICELESS

Community profile: New Richmond

The city in St. Croix County is adding about 300 new homes and 500 new residents a year. That kind of growth affects everything from roads to schools: The school district, in transition with an interim superintendent, is regrouping from last year's failed referendum for funding a new high school. And work to expand Wisconsin 35/64 to four lanes between Houlton and New Richmond will resume this spring.

Read more: read more

Who's You Brother's Keeper?

"Now my friends, I am opposed to the system of society in which we live today, not because I lack the natural equipment to do for myself but because I am not satisfied to make myself comfortable knowing that there are thousands of my fellow men who suffer for the barest necessities of life. We were taught under the old ethic that man's business on this earth was to look out for himself. That was the ethic of the jungle; the ethic of the wild beast. Take care of yourself, no matter what may become of your fellow man. Thousands of years ago the question was asked; ''Am I my brother's keeper?'' That question has never yet been answered in a way that is satisfactory to civilized society.

Yes, I am my brother's keeper. I am under a moral obligation to him that is inspired, not by any maudlin sentimentality but by the higher duty I owe myself. What would you think me if I were capable of seating myself at a table and gorging myself with food and saw about me the children of my fellow beings starving to death."

Eugene V. Debs

The Sticker Lady Welcomes OTBL

OTBL THROWS IN THE TOWEL
ACCEPTS COLLECTIVISM AS INEVITABLE
AWARDED BUMPER STICKERS

Borderline Humor with Oh Wilber!

Q: Why did Dr. Bill ride his horse facing backwards?

A: Because he lost a nickel in the oat bin.

OTBL ADMIN UNCOVERS GOOD OLE BOYS

The OTBL Admin has done it again. Detecting another insidious conspiriology in Hudson, he has uncovered the Good Ole Boys. But what boy doesn't enjoy a good ole joke now and then?

Ole: Vorking hard Admin?
Admin: Nope. I'm foolin' the boss. I'm carrying the same load of cement up and down the steps all day.

Jane: I'm so proud of my two boys. They became pilots. Ole and the other borderliners haul the cow manure out of the barn, and my boys pile it.

Wheeze and Ole were deer hunting. Suddenly, a man came running out of the bushes, yelling: "Don't shoot! I'm not a deer!" Wheeze raised his gun and shot him dead. Ole said: "Vheeze, vhy did you shoot that man? He said he vasn't a deer!" Wheeze answered: "Oh, I thought he said he vas a deer!"

Ole came down the road with his tractor and wagon. Bil stopped him and asked "Vhat do you have in da vagon?" Ole said: "Manure, I spread them on my strawberries." Bil said: "Vell, you should come over for lunch someday. Ve use whipped cream."

Yes Admin. You are Johnny on the Spot. Like they say at the bullfight: Ole!!

Laissez-faire - Anti-Goverment Critic Seeks Help...(From the Government)

I had to sympathize with the Lenvik Lad's telemarketing tail of woe. You're in the middle of something,
usually dinner, the phone rings and you get this recorded message, or it's
a telemarketer."Hello Mr. Watcher" they usually started out. I always respond,
"Speaking" to prevent these vultures from using my voice saying "yes" and claiming that I consented
to purchasing a life time supply of magazines.If it's a live person, they usually start with
something like, "How are you tonight" my first response is a very tentative.
"It depends why your calling?"
At that point they launch into their prepared script, usually asking you a question.
"Are you a home owner, etc". to which I respond. " I'm not interested" if they persist,
I say "Thank You" and hang up. People tell me I'm rude. I consider these people invaders
in my home and this is my way of escorting them to the other side of the moat.
In Lenvik's case, he's encountered an unscrupulous business that thinks they've found
a loophole in the law. After all, Lenvik called them didn't he? So they are right in saying
they are not soliciting anything (technically).
What I find most amusing are the numberous contraditions in the laddie's story.
The most obvious is, as a promoter of Laizie Faire economic, free market, get the government
off of the back of business supporter, you'd think that the "lad" would laud the entrepeneurial
spirit of the business he's complaining about. After all, the "Lad" is what P.T. Barnum would
refer to as "a sucker", the kind that is born evety minute.
But instead, the lad seeks assistace and protection from these kinds of dishonest business practices
from non other that the FCC. (A.K.A. THE GOVERNMENT ).
But the OTBL philosophers say, "BACK OFF FCC, Who are you to tell private businesses who they can call at dinner time?" Their cry is heard loud and clear. " Get Government OFF our backs".
You see Mr. Lad, this is why we at ATBL, think that "The Government", while often overly bueraucratic, has a place in reigning in jerks like the telemarketers you are so upset with.

Why didn't Mr. Lad, call in the "Free Market" to take action acgainst these scoundrals? I mean, in Dr. Bill's fantasy world the "Free Market'will take care of everything right? Like magic? So, the next time you encounter a scam artist like the one you discribed Mr. Lenvic, call Dr. Bill, or the CATO institute or some other right wing fruitcake, and get off the back of
"The Government".