at 1/06/2007 Posted by Lit'l Bill Almighty
Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this the day after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.
HU'S ON FIRST
By James Sherman
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
George: I mean the fellow's name.
George: The guy in China.
George: The new leader of China.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
at 1/06/2007 Posted by Andy Rand
Conceived in a gas station bathroom, and born in the back of a station wagon in the Bowlarama parking lot on league night. This little honey was raised on the four basic food groups (meatwiches, oleo, government cheese, and beer).
Possessed of an I.Q. that makes her ancestors proud, she is the first of her family to make it through the third grade. She would have finished the fourth if she had not made the mature decision to stay home with her first born son.
Also a model working Mom, even after a hard day gathering carts at the Honk & Holler, she still finds time to carve and fry the Christmas Bologna.
"When Momma heard about the "Free Market", things got a whole lot better at home."
My sister got a doll that looks just like Momma! You can get one too! Order here:
at 1/06/2007 Posted by Golfbag O' Wind
11. Daddy is sick of mommy's liberal BS like telling him to use a condom or let her get some birth control pills.
10. When Daddy goes on fishing trips with his buddies, the only thing they do besides fish is drink and the first thing he does when he gets back is to make Mommy clean the fish and get him a beer.
9. Because Daddy thinks Mommy should be "fulfilled" just raising children and living in a double-wide. Besides daycare is more expensive than beer.
8. Daddy likes to handle his guns when he's been drinking and says the 2nd Amendment and Jack Daniels gave him the right.
7. Even though he doesn't have un pot à pisser dedans, Daddy thinks homeless people are criminals, rich people deserve big tax cuts and Mommy should be treated like a slave.
6. The government withholds over half of daddy's paycheck to pay for alimony for the other two ex-wives who say he is a selfish pig. Mommy says that too, but only when Daddy is on a fishing trip.
5. Daddy deals with grown-ups all day who think they are smarter than him because they have a GED. He doesn't think he should have to come home and put up with a wife who can balance a checkbook.
4. Daddy likes oil-based products and has obviously suffered enough brain damage from the fumes to make him angry at others with different colored skin or the ability to do simple math.
3. Daddy believes that his white skin makes him a supreme being who is of a higher world order than Orpah Winfrey, etc.
2. Daddy says free trade allows provides good imported booze, cheap electronics and fast sports cars. When I asked why we drives a 1986 Chevy Cavalier with a cassette player and Old Milwuakee by the case, he tells me to shutup if I know what's good for me.
1. Daddy is a mean SOB and says he hopes someday Mommy will learn to just shut up and listen like I'm learning to do.
0. On Saturday mornings, when Mommy tries to stop Daddy from leaving the house, he likes to push her out of the way and say things in French like "Obtenir la baise hors de ma manière, vous slut ignorant. Je vais manger des crêpes et des oeufs brouillés avec Grover. "
In an attempt to make sure nobody's feelings are hurt -- except a certain group of local bloggers who have no feelings -- the new Congress is discussing the addition of a number of new federal holidays. The days under consideration are listed below:
Seasonal Affective Disorder Day: January 2
With Christmas and New Years a thing of the past, now it''s time to celebrate the long, cold, gray winter months that loom ahead.
The Day the Music Died Day: February 3
Write a sappy song about an important cultural tragedy that will annoy bar patrons for generations.
National Jingoism & Violence Day: February 4
Collect a group of two dozen or so well-trained men assigned to represent your city or region. Face off against another such group of well-trained men. Beat the living sh*t out of each other. (aka Superbowl Sunday)
Soy Bomb: February 25
Celebrate the "spontaneous explosion of the self" by dancing like an *sshole on live television.
Reverse Cowgirl Day: March 3
Honoring a woman's right to choose positions. (formerly Women''s Suffrage Day)
Hale-Bopp Day: March 22
Remember 1997? Best year EVAR? Well, things won''t be that good until 4380, so your cult will have to wait for its next mass suicide.
International 420 Day: April 20
Mission Accomplished Day: May 1
Celebrate the United States'' quick and clean victory in Iraq.
Jim Belushi Day: June 15
Hire your brother to do something he''s not qualified to do. (aka National Nepotism Day)
Mike Tyson Day: June 30
Threaten to eat someone''s children while feasting on delicious elephant ear pastries.
Transfomers Day: July 4
Make your pilgrimage to the multiplex as Michael Bay rapes your fondest Saturday morning cartoon memories. Clutch your vintage Rodimus Prime toy while mumbling "You''ve Got the Touch."
Los Alamos Day: July 16
Celebrate the first ever nuclear explosion near Alamogordo in 1945 by blowing some sh*t up. (aka Trinity Day, Oppenheimer Day, I Am Become Death Day)
Self-Love Day: July 26
Enjoy the company of the person you love best in the recesses of your favorite public place. May we suggest Barnes & Noble? (aka Paul Reubens Day, Pee Wee''s Play Day)
Adult Swim Day: September 2
Skip work, get high and watch Space Ghost until you pass out.
National Accessory Day: September 14
In appreciation of the belt, the hat, the handbag and, most importantly, the scarf. It was on this day in 1927 that famed modern dancer Isadora Duncan''s scarf sealed its importance in the annals of history by wrapping itself around the axel of a car and broke its owner''s neck.
Seat Belt Remembrance Day: September 30
What better way to celebrate the life (and, more specifically, death) of legendary actore and motor enthusiast James Dean, than with a holiday remembering seat belts?
Ted Haggard’s Gay Republican Day: November 1
Purchase recreational drugs from your favorite same-sex prostitute, but don''t pay for intercourse. That would be hypocritical.
Mutilated Nipple Day: November 4
Legend has it that this holiday originated way back in 2004 when actress Tara Reid bravely unleashed her mangled areola upon a pack of ravenous paparazzi and saved the world from something or other.
The Clinton/Lewinsky Blowjob Joke Appreciation Day: November 15
On this day, stand-up comedians and late-night talk show hosts around the nation celebrate the greatest gift that was ever given unto them.
Autoerotic Asphyxiation Day: November 22
Things to do today: fashion yourself a festive Asphyxophilia Noose, masturbate, listen to INXS''s Kick twenty-two times on repeat. (aka Michael Hutchence Memorial Day)
Britney Beaver Day: November 27
Today, innocent girls all around the world flash their junk.
National Cruise Day: November 29
Fun activities: Plan a cruise with two of your favorite loved ones, get drunk, go for a swim when no one is looking. (aka What Really Happened to Natalie Wood Day)
Fingering the Starfruit Day: December 2
On this day in 1978, 150 pedophilic freedom fighters attended the first meeting of the North American Man/Boy Love Association (or NAMBLA).
Entropy Day: December 30
Holy sh*t! Did another f**king year come and go already?
A report released Wednesday by a science advocacy group says Exxon Mobil Corp. spent nearly $16 million between 1998 and 2005 to fund skeptic groups that misled the public on the science behind climate change.
The report by the Union of Concerned Scientists says the Irving-based oil giant funneled the money to a network of 43 advocacy organizations whose goal is to spread inaccurate information about global warming.
Exxon Mobil, is a statement issued to the Dallas Business Journal Wednesday, said it has found many of the conclusions in the report to be inaccurate.
The company also said it publishes a complete list of the organizations it supports on its Web site.
"With regard to support Exxon Mobil provides to various public policy organizations, our support extends to a fairly broad array of organizations that research significant domestic and foreign policy issues and promote discussion on issues of direct relevance to the company," the company said in a statement. "As most of these organizations are independent of their corporate sponsors and are tax-exempt, our financial support does not connote any substantive control over or responsibility for the policy recommendations or analyses they produce."
at 1/05/2007 Posted by Sunny Badger
In 1914 the Ford Motor Company announced that it would henceforth pay eligible workers a minimum wage of $5 a day (compared to an average of $2.34 for the industry) and would reduce the work day from nine hours to eight, thereby converting the factory to a three-shift day. Overnight Ford became a worldwide celebrity. People either praised him as a great humanitarian or excoriated him as a mad socialist. Ford said humanitarianism had nothing to do with it. Previously profit had been based on paying wages as low as workers would take and pricing cars as high as the traffic would bear. Ford, on the other hand, stressed low pricing (the Model T cost $950 in 1908 and $290 in 1927) in order to capture the widest possible market and then met the price by volume and efficiency. Ford's success in making the automobile a basic necessity turned out to be but a prelude to a more widespread revolution. The development of mass-production techniques, which enabled the company eventually to turn out a Model T every 24 seconds; the frequent reductions in the price of the car made possible by economies of scale; and the payment of a living wage that raised workers above subsistence and made them potential customers for, among other things, automobiles--these innovations changed the very structure of society.
at 1/05/2007 Posted by Sunny Badger
"The killing of the guilty is not the way to rebuild justice and reconcile society, rather there is a risk of nourishing the spirit of revenge and inciting fresh violence."
Vatican spokesperson Fr. Federico Lombardi S.J.,
Source: Holy See Press Office
at 1/03/2007 Posted by Newton Field Monitor
Protect your ankles from the vermin and riffraff trudging through the gutters on the borderline.
These ANKLE BITERS come in colors that will match the silliest head band you dare wear out of the house!
If you buy before July 4, 1776, we will throw one month's worth of On The Borderline's poop pickup service. You've always known OTBL has been able to dish it out, this will prove they can pick it up...
at 1/03/2007 Posted by EastWing
at 1/03/2007 Posted by EastWing
"A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not."
- Henry Fielding
at 1/03/2007 Posted by Lit'l Bill Almighty
at 1/03/2007 Posted by Newton Field Monitor
The New Year is less than 24hrs. old and your Resolution to to trim your taxes by 90% is in jeoprody already. The Evil Socialists are once more ready to pick you pocket clean, and it's all because of Democracy.
When will people learn the truth, that our Founding Fathers feared Democracy as much as the tyranny of the King. Curse those evil democrats. They think they can make decisions limiting our freedom, just by winning an election?
But don't dispair. The enterprising alchemists at Trim have concocted an elixer that will brain wash even socialists faster the honey drips from your sweaty fingers on a hot summer's day. Slip that Socialist neighbor of yours an ice cold can a TRIM at you next holiday barbacue. He'll change his tune faster than you can switch his radio dial from the Prarie Home Companion to the Rush Limbaugh Show.
Order a 6 pack of TRIM today at: DemocracySux.com
or call the Trimline direct at 1-666-No-Vote.
Our Holiday Special's been held over this week only:
Get A free misinterpretation of Jame's Madison's Federalist Essay #10
with every six pack purchase. Order today, You'll be glad you did.
at 1/02/2007 Posted by Grover Cleavage
at 1/02/2007 Posted by EastWing
Endorsed by all six of the bloggers at ontheborderline.nut!
Are you tired of having to address concerned citizens attending public meetings with phrases like "Get out of my way you piece of shit."
Does it look like you're the "I" in "idiot," when the best shot you can blog about the opposition is calling them "socialist scum."
You can change all that in 2007. With this simple little book, you can expand your vocabulary to an impressive level. Before you know it, your friends will be commenting on your ebullience and complimenting you on you equanimity.
No longer will your canoe trips be ruined by your toothless, snuff-juice dribbling hillbilly blogging clan members calling you an ignorant redneck. Soon they will recognize you as a sesquipedalian winebibber who obviously is a saxicolus penultimate.
Words like "statism" and "parapraxia" will drip from your lips like honey on a hot summer day. When your neighbor tells you you are a "frigging fruitcake," you be able to confidently correct him and point out that you'd prefer to be called an "anomalistic callipygian."
Act now, supply is limited. If you order by July 4, 1776, you can be on your way to becoming a proficuous sesquipedalian for the parsimonious price of $6.66. If you purchase this before the next school board election, will throw in a roll of red, white and blue duct tape -- perfect for wearing outside you neighborhood polling place.
Does it work? Read on...
"After reading this book and putting these words to use, the spelling checking option on my computer started on fire!"
-- Luke Car-Nac
(three of the six OTBL bloggers)
"I'd give it two thumbs up, except I've already got two thumbs up my accoutrement."
(two of the six OTBL bloggers)
"It's got to be good, it wrote it."
at 1/01/2007 Posted by EastWing
Eyes on the Prize
Iraq's liberation will be the biggest good thing to happen since 9/11.
Monday, March 24, 2003 12:01 a.m. EST
It is going to mean, first, that something good happened. This sounds small but is huge. The West has been depressed since Sept. 11, 2001. It has been torn, riven. It has been a difficult time. The coming victory is going to be the biggest good thing that has happened in the world, the West and the United States since the twin towers fell.
The deeper meaning there is that we are witnessing a triumph of activism over fatalism. Victory will remind the world that faith and effort trump ennui and despair. It will demonstrate to the civilized world that the good do not have to see themselves as at the inevitable mercy of barbarians. It will demonstrate that we are not part of a long and unstoppable slide, that we can move forward and win progress, that we don't have to cower in blue suits behind the Security Council desk. We can straighten up, join together and make things better.
An American victory is going to remind the world, too, that while many have tended to see terror states and terror groups as talented, disciplined and competent, they are not, always. The reigning Iraqi claque has been revealed, or so it seems, to be what many of us hoped it was: a house of cards. It is not bad for the world to see it collapse.
Another thing, and a crucially important one. The United States is showing to the world, to its friends and foes, that it will pay a high price to make the world better. We will put it all on the line. This country is, still, the place that will take responsibility when no one else will. In this our entire country is like the firemen of 9/11 who looked up, saw the burning towers and charged. In the past few days, weeks and months, America charged. It has a lot to be proud of. (Being America it will soon be beating itself up again, but it should take some time over the next few weeks to feel the healthy pride it's earned.)
With Iraq taken care of the United States will be able to move with enhanced strength toward an Arab-Israeli peace that might last. There are those who say Mr. Bush cannot move forcefully here because his base is composed in part of Christian Evangelicals deeply enamored of Israel. And so it is. But with victory in Baghdad Mr. Bush's base widens, and it will damage him not at all either in the world or domestically to come out strong and do what needs to be done.
at 1/01/2007 Posted by Golfbag O' Wind
Top Ten OTBL Resolutions
1. Create more enemies than last year.
2. Complain about taxes until they actually do go up not down.
3. Demand that all District school buildings be named after Ronald Reagan.
4. File requests for information demanding details of Steve Dzubay's contract.
5. Learn to say "I hate taxes" in 5 new languages
6. Use less internet ink.
7. Hold WI Blogger Alliance Summer Blog Bash at new Pukatorium.
8. Find way to claim OTBL got a billion hits.
9. Find uglier scrap wood for Vote No signs.
10. Move out of Hudson Tax Hell
at 12/31/2006 Posted by Golfbag O' Wind
A: ontheorderline.net blogger yoga
Q: What does Luke Car-Nac do for exercise in the morning, after his wife has gone off to win the bread, the children have left for another day of government-school indoctrination and Clifford The Big Red Dog is on the tv?
"There was nothing fair minded or balanced in his editorial...Just as some very narrow-minded people can only see what they want to see, or are told to see, so too has Dzubay attempted to characterize this blog...On the other hand, the incredibly predictable and biased approach of a weekly newspaper such as the Hudson Star Observer should and does create a high degree of suspicion by many in the Hudson community...The readership of this blog and its opinions is far wider than the narrow-minded, gullible, lowest common denominator to whom Dzubay was addressing...And that is Our View…"
OTBL Comment Policy
1)For any reason, at any time, and depending on my mood, your comment may be deleted or edited with or without an explanation or warning. Comment on this blog at your own risk. If you insist on an explanation, read this. If you still don’t like it, tell your story walking. The KING of this domain has spoken.
The rules below are still in effect, but number one gets to the bottom line in a hurry, don’t you think?
2) Do not call me names! Please don?��t offend or insult the blog host. If I get into specifics, this post would never end. Just use common sense. Don’t call myself or other commenters names, either. Attack the argument, not the person.
3) I am king of www.ontheborderline.net because this is my weblog. I pay for the hosting and I make the rules.
You have no First Amendment rights on this blog. My right to free speech is protected on this site, not yours.
Admin's note: Occasionally we get requests from readers to post various things from the blogosphere. The following posting comes from the ontheborderline.net blog oozing out of Hudson. It deals with a debate raging in the minds of three or four bloggers at the site (which means it's probably one or two people debating and discussing among themselves). This will use up precious space on this blog and we usually don't publish such frivolous drivel. However, our editorial board has met and agreed to stoop to this level of belligerence just once, i.e., we are making an exception from our high journalistic standards.
I would like to preface this OTBL post with a parable that I think is appropriate. I hope you agree with me, after reading it. If you don't agree, too bad. -- cancel your subscription to this blog...
The efficiency expert stopped several mornings in a row on his commute into the city, pulling his car onto the shoulder of the road alongside the farm with the small apple orchard. He watched in amazement, even getting out his binoculars to be sure, as the farmer carefully lifted a full-grown pig out of the pig pen, carried him down the path to the orchard, and then climbed the small step-ladder, lifting the pig over his head and waiting patiently while the pig ate a few apples from the tree. The farmer then returned the pig to the pen, picked up another sow and schlepped her down to the orchard to feed. The spectacle continued for over an hour until all the pigs had been fed and the farmer was obviously exhausted.
Professional curiosity eventually won out, and the efficiency expert decided to confront the farmer about his process. One morning he put down his binoculars, climbed through the fence, and met the farmer as he finished his feeding ritual. “Don’t you see how much time you’re wasting, and how much faster it would be if you picked the apples and brought them to the pigs in the pen?” The farmer shrugged and stared at the stranger with slight suspicion. Finally, he responded with a question of his own: “What’s time to a pig?”
(The following is lifted from the ontheborderline.net blog and is used without permission. It is a rant by members of a St. Croix Valley blog against an editorial in the current edition of the Hudson Star Observer newspaper. Here's a link to the editorial. )
Dzubay and Irony
Filed under: Politics Local, About On The BorderLine --- Our View @ 10:00 am
Irony comes in three basic flavors: Socratic, sordonic and dramatic. Steve Dzubay, writing for the Hudson Star Observer in a recent editorial states: “I find it ironic that shortly after Kilber rested from penning us his call for accountability, he’d already abandoned the possibility his letter would be published as “they censor and will not print this…” and placed it on his Web site.”
(Admin's note: Of course, Kilber was wrong. The HSO printed his letter in full. The HSO didn't censor his letter. Those of us who send letters to the editor don't use conspiratorial terms like "censor," when we don't get our way. We use words like "edit." Kilber rides high on his hobbyhorse of hypocrisy, when he calls for "accountability" at the HSO. Viewers of the soagy diaper Kilber confuses for a blog know that "accountability" isn't required on his Internet slander fest.)
Dzubay is being too cute by half on this one; although there may have been some irony in this sordid matter it was not the type Dzubay implies. Nor was there anything in his editorial view resembling journalistic savoir faire…head scratcher comes readily to mind. Dzubay’s attempt to address Kilber makes note in its opening paragraph an admonition by a former county board member to be careful in making an enemy of one who has barrels of ink at their disposal. Well, Dzubay clearly learned from that experience as todays ink wells are filled not with a mixture of soot, turpentine, and walnut oil but rather with electrons -and the well of electrons is deep indeed.
(Admin's note: Wowzer! Imagine a phrase like "journalistic savior faire" coming from a blog site that kisses the ideological backside of laizze-faire and whines about everything not being fair. I believe the phrase Dzubay was implying is "C'est la vie." In this instance, Latin would be more apropos than French would. Of course, I'm thinking the phrase that Dzubay should have used was "minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum." I find it confusing that blog slugs like the OTBL'ers would waste their seemingly bottomless pit of punctuated pabulum on the local newspaper. Apparently, they are having trouble reaching their target market -- all six people.)
Was Dzubay making a Socratic reference? Or perhaps he was attempting a sardonic expression in his editorial by referring to something other than, and especially the opposite of, the literal meaning? Then again, he could have been attempting to illustrate an incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result… Frankly, the facts bely the rhetoric of Dzubay as the printing of Mr. Kilber’s letter occurred AFTER it was posted right here on this web log. Moreover, there were some comments, I believe, addressing the probability of the Star Observer (in this case, Dzubay himself) printing Mr. Kilber’s letter.
(Admin's note: I not sure the Lord Himself could figure out what the hell is being babbled about in the above paragraph. It seems to pass a spelling test, but I'd like to subject the author to a pee test.)
The mere fact then that after the letter was posted here the Star Observer went and printed it tells us much more about electrons, the speed of light, and Steve Dzubay’s full understanding of the popularity and reach of this blog than it does the implied fairness and journalistic equity preposterously proposed by Dzubay - as if he would have printed the letter had it not first appeared here. Once he read it here the challenge was thrown down and for him not to print it at that point would have once again, proven the case. Furthermore, by printing the letter and then drawing attention to it in an editorial, he was engaging in a self-serving scheme of rehabilitation by taking an unwarranted, inaccurate and incredibly oversimplistic pot shot at this blog.
(Admin's note: It appears Mr. Dzubay is damn if he does or doesn't print the said letter in question. This paragraph remains me of a conversation I overheard at McDonald's the other morning. A grandpa, who happens to be my neighbor, was in charge of his three grandkids -- between 2-4 -- and they were getting breakfast. The kids wanted a toy -- this is two days after Christmas -- and they were told they don't give toys away with breakfast. The kids started crying and saying they wanted a toy. When Grandpa told them, if they got a toy, they'd only lose them in the mess of toys they just got for Christmas. One kid gave his best tearful, last-gasp whine and said "But Grandpa, I want another toy..." We are setting up a fund to collect money to buy the OTBL'ers a Happy Meal and get them a toy.
On the charge of the HSO taking a "pot shot" at that blog, we wholly agree with the OTBL'ers on that point. Shame on the HSO for such cheap shots! Those OTBL idiots will never see that underhandedness coming from this journalistic institution.)
One can read Dzubay’s editorial and no where in it is there any reference to the name of Mr. Kilber’s website. Moreover, there is no reference in Dzubay’s writing to note the numerous, compelling, well-written and intellectually challenging posts that have been published on this blog over the last several years. There was nothing fair minded or balanced in his editorial, rather he was blogging (poorly, I might add) in his own paper. Just as some very narrow-minded people can only see what they want to see, or are told to see, so too has Dzubay attempted to characterize this blog. The omission by Dzubay of an acknowledgment of the many compelling postings out here is very telling indeed. Are there some odd postings out here that are, for lack of a better description, rough around the edges? Of course, this is a personal web log owned by an individual and trafficked by numerous independent-minded persons.
(Admin's note: If they OTBL'ers haven't noticed, the HSO sells advertising and you are free to take out a small ad with your website address on it. I think the writer meant "intellectually challenged posts," in the above paragraph. Once again, the writer climbs the peak of hypocrisy when he says "There was nothing fair minded or balanced in his editorial, rather he was blogging (poorly, I might add) in his own paper." Or are we to interpret that the newspaper gets held to a higher standard than an Internet blog site populated by a couple anonymous, disgruntled Tom Paine wannabees? Its one thing to kiss someone else's ass or to have someone kiss your ass. The OTBL'ers have taken their pretzel logic to a new convoluted twist and are kissing their own ass: "The omission by Dzubay of an acknowledgment of the many compelling postings out here is very telling indeed." Indeed, gag me with a spoon of peanut butter!)
The eclectic nature of this and many other blogs are what create interest. On the other hand, the incredibly predictable and biased approach of a weekly newspaper such as the Hudson Star Observer should and does create a high degree of suspicion by many in the Hudson community. The mere fact that Dzubay counted the number of “for” and “against” referendum letters and draws a conclusion that they engaged in a fair representation leaves one utterly clueless as regards the total number of letters submitted that were edited or not printed (for one reason or another). Then there was the accusation of copyright infringement with zero details to support the claim. Knowing that some letters did not get printed is self-evidence of Dzubay and company changing or suppressing speech or writing that is considered subversive of the common good.
(Admin's note: The OTBL blog has three chords in its "eclectic" arsenal: anti-education, anti-community and anti-union. If the OTBL'ers truly believed in "free speech," their blog would be open to comments from all readers -- like this blog. They are into controlling the message and signing their three-chord song. In their case, "free speech" doesn't apply, but "cheap talk" does.)
Irony? Not the Socratic type Dzubay implies and certainly not from his perspective. To be sure there is some tragedy here, as those who are most familiar with what is written out here, on balance, can attest. The fact is that there was incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events (the printing of Kilbers letter in the HSO) and the normal or expected result - the true irony was that Dzubay allowed the letter to be printed because the normal or expected result (from past experience) was clearly suppression of writing - Mr. Kilber’s, in this case. Dzubay, in a twist of editorial nonsense, admits as much in what can only be described as parapraxia.
(Admin's note: Obviously, the above writer was using his dictionary. "Parapraxia" refers to a "slip of the tongue or of the pen, momentary amnesia regarding names, and other errors which, according to Freud (1901), demonstrate the intrusion of -unconscious- mental processes into the -conscious- world of the normal individual. Freud suggested that -censorship- operates in some of these situations to repress material which is unacceptable to the ego and thus brings about the 'mistake.'" Obviously, communicating one's ideas is not the goal at OTBL. Impressing your reading clanship with big words is...)
The editorial by Dzubay was a malicious use of the Star Observer to attempt to discredit Mr. Kilber and this blog as well as two other concerned citizens who just happen to be vocal opponents of matters to which Dzubay is a supporter. His statement that “As expected, both Weese and Shaw took the absence of their letters as a personal affront and proceeded to rant and call us names from the safety of Kilber’s blog” was nothing more than a veiled assertion that writers out here lack intestinal fortitude, which, in this particular case, is laughable. Mr. Dzubay ought to get copies of school board meetings over the last 4 years for review to see just how lacking both of those individuals he mentioned are in intestinal fortitude. Dzubay simply sees this blog as a competitive threat to both his paper and his world view of the “common good.” He merely made a weak attempt at discrediting OTBL in the hopes that readers will sumarily reject anything posted here. If his core readership takes that position, it is to their detriment. The readership of this blog and its opinions is far wider than the narrow-minded, gullible, lowest common denominator to whom Dzubay was addressing.
(Admin's note: In the above concluding paragraph, OTBL rides its hobby horse of hypocrisy to the bottom of the valley and tells us Dzubay's editorial was "a malicious use of the Star Observer to attempt to discredit Mr. Kilber” and his blog. Do they mean Dzubay is learning a few tricks for the OTBL playbook? In the final sentence, the OTBL'ers tell us that their shit don't stink and, if you aren't on their band wagon, yours does. The last sentence verifies my "bullshit theory of life." My theory states that, if all you have to eat is bullshit, you’ll reach a point where you get use to the taste and smell of bullshit. The OTBL'ers have obviously reached that point and acquired the taste of their own bullshit.)
After being silenced by all local media outlets and defeated in a recent school referendum, a local group of Internet bloggers has decided to take its message to the air. The www.ontheborderline.nutz blog site has officially submitted its application for a balloon spot in Hudson's 2007 Hot Air Affair. Although the OTBL bloggers have not completed construction of the balloon, Mickal Phoneyckov, blog administrator, has submitted a computerized rendition of the balloon (pictured above).
Luke Carnac, official manure manager at OTBL, said the OTBL'ers have ceased all letter writing campaigns, whine parties and slander fests until the balloon is complete. He said, as always, they will do most of their work anonymously under the cover of late night darkness. Carnac said the bloggers decided on the balloon project as a way to get the local community to look up to them.
When ask about their experience in hot air ballooning, Carnac snarled that nobody in the group has any experience in ballooning. "In case you haven't been paying attention for the past few years," Carnac pointed out in his Type-A authoritarian tone of voice, "we don't have any experience in any of the things we do. Our expertise has always been in generating hot air and being the sand in the community jar of Vaseline."
Carnac pointed out that the balloon will be constructed out of rotted particle board left over from their recent, failed attempt at defeating a school referendum. He said the particle board will be fastened together with $99,820 worth of duct tape purchased with money from the NO Group anti-community war chest. To save weight on the balloon and reduce costs, they will not use a propane burner to generate hot air. Instead, Luke Carnac will be the single source of hot air. When asked if he could generate that much hot air, Carnac asked, "Why do you think we at OTBL are so against those liberal fruitcakes trying to save the polar bears from global warming?"
"Because you are the major contributors to global warming with all the methane and hot air you generate?," replied this reporter.
"Exactly, you conspiratorially socialist panhandler living off the tax dollars of guys like me who don't actually work for a living."
"But I work for a privately owned newspaper," countered this reporter.
"As always," threatened Carnac, "don't confuse me with the facts!"
When this reporter mentioned that the balloon project sounded like something that PBS's Canadian handiman Red Green would be proud of, Carnac spit-showered back, "Only a socialist scum reporter would think of using the word 'red.'"