Laddie Lenvik the Psycho


Gloria the Gorgeous Gal

For the World Championship Lightweight Telemarketing Mud Wrestling Championship

Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets! This promises to be the most memorable cage match since Psycho Lenvik talked to someone on the telephone yesterday.

Tip: Put you money on the Gal. She's got mud running in her veins, and she doesn't cut and run like the Laddie.


Rare Borderliner Spotted On Fence

The Open-Minded Fence Straddler, a rare species of Borderliner, was
spotted on OTBL today. This species is near extinction and seldom seen
in the inhospitable OTBL habitat. He appeared to be disoriented and
considering the views of opposing sides. The local Ideological
Braindead Vultures immediately wrapped him in duct tape and pummeled him
with holiday nuts.

Borderline Ponderings

"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly,
while bad people will find a way around the laws."

Plato (429-347 BC)

Poll Says Federal Poverty Level Too Low

According to a new poll by the Northwest Area Foundation of St. Paul, most people think the federal government substantially undercounts the incidence of poverty in America, reported the Star Tribune.

Nearly two-thirds of U.S. adults say a family of four needs at least $40,000 a year to rise above poverty - far above the federal government's poverty threshold of $19,806 for a family of four. Half the respondents said that they know "a lot" of people who are struggling to get by. The survey found that most Americans think local officials have an important role to play in reducing poverty and believe that poverty can be reduced in their communities.

More than a third of respondents said they would very likely agree to pay $50 a year more in taxes to help alleviate poverty. Over the next decade, the foundation plans to spend $150 million on 12 anti-poverty programs in eight states, the article said.

To access the survey, click here.


OTBL Website Still Sucks

Komrad Killbear, you slay me!!!! Da, Less that 18 hours after you get nomination for
Web award you change design and make even more ugly web site no? Is good that you show others on borderline that you no compromise! You like John Galt, rugged individual, no influenced by others opinion. Ha, Andy say, web site ugly, you go change and make 000000 for background. Must take mental intellectigent to do stuff like that with compuooter No? Now I see why Dr. Bill so impressed with your work of no alturism. I go have shots of Wodka now, and I come back later to see if website look better when I drunk.


It's Be KIND to the OTBL'ers Week

Words To Ponder

"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done"... Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with surprising effectiveness. A genuinely unfashionable opinion is almost never given a fair hearing, either in the popular press or in the highbrow periodicals."

George Orwell


Breaking news ....

Borderliner Nonworkers Union Local 6/14 was subject to a surprise
lockout by City Police Management today. A spokesman for police
management explained that the police will serve and protect all
citizens; however, the members of BNU 6/14 have informed them that they
no longer need city police services.

The spokesman explained, "BNU 6/14 wants to have the freedom to start
their own market-based private police department. They have stated
repeatedly that they have better police skills than us anyway. Based on
that, we put up the fence and said 'have at it boys!'"

The irony is that BNU 6/14 has been conducting a sit down strike for
years and nobody noticed.


OTBL Nominated for Web Awards

This just in. Ontheborderline has been nominated for several
Web Design awards from the prestigious "Web Pages that Suck".
Just a few of the categories OTBL was nominated in were:

Stupidest Message Ever

Worst Web Colors

Most Wordy and Boring Posts and

Best 18th Century Web Design.

When contacted telepathically about the awards OTBL Admin. CK stated.
"I couldn't have done it without my Skunky Buddies. And I'd like to say a special
thanks to my Spiritual and Intellectual Mentor Dr. Bill. "Thanks Dr.Bill".

It's no suprise the Admin credits his success to Dr. Bill after "The Master"
posted another superbly boring and exceedingly lengthy butt kissing post.

"Mises, Rand, and the Admin", lauding the Admin with not having. "a scintilla of
altruistic motivation in his drive to make this corner of the blogsphere work."
OTBL Admin was visably touched by Dr. Bill's praises saying. "(Sob), It's times like
these that make all the sleepless nights trying to decide whether to use hex code
"06570A" Blooger Puke Green or "F0E78C" Pale Ugly Yellow In WordPress all worth it.

Dr. Bill will also share in the honors from "Web pages that Suck" being
nominated in the "Most Wordy and Boring Posts EVER" category. Dr. Bill's epic online version of "War and Peas" will soon reach over a million meaningless big words.
A release date for Dr. Bill's upcoming hardcover book. "How I Use So Many Words,To Say So Little." has not been announced. Rumors surrounding the book's release have
hinted that Dr. Bill is hoping that the "Web Pages that Suck" award will help boost sales. The book's publisher, Ayn Rand Press, declined comment on the soon to be released masterpiece other than saying "It's going to be HUGE."



In a press conference today, Jane Bauer read the following prepared statement:

"As a community anti-booster and ignorant slut, I would like to endorsement Randy Moss and Daunte Culpepper for the New Richmond School Board. The personal lives these men lead exemplify the role model that I want our students to emulate. Their love for community will keep them right here working as a team for years to come. Most importantly, if they should ever cross me, I can easily humiliate them and run them off the plantation."

In response, Mr. Culpepper asked Ms. Bauer to join him on a three-hour cruise on his ship 'Aparady.'

Mr. Moss was also reached for comment, and showed Jane just how he felt about her endorsement.



Mr. Z Seals Media Deal with American Jihad

In reaction to local "socialist" blogger Mr. Mustard's
suggessful campaign to subliminally indoctinate visitors to Above the Borderline and turn them all gay, Republican whip Bob Zee, has decided to fight back with a media blitz more to his liking. After scanning the AM right wing -nut dial and conferring with Rush Limbaugh Mr. Zee has sealed a deal reportedly worth about a buck- two-fifty with the Media production giant, American Jihad to produce an All American message to keep us all free. Let's take a listen to these choir boys shall we. Listen Here. (For mature Americans) Rated R(epublican)


Borderline County Republican Communications Director Bob Zipper announced today that he has deciphered Da Mustard Code. At a press conference, non-moderate Mr. Zipper explained his findings, "I found that if I listened to every third word on AirAmericaRadio, and then interpose every seventh letter in the 114th page of Al Franken's book 'Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot,' I can decode the top secret messages that JPN is beaming to his socialist followers." Reporter Bill O'Reilly asked Mr. Zipper if he could provide an example of his breakthrough. Mr. Zipper was happy to oblige, stating, "Recently, JPN said: 'The American Legion Auxiliary is hosting a candidate forum for New Richmond School Board election at 7 p.m. Wednesday, March 15, at the American Legion Hall, 129 High Street. The forum will be moderated by New Richmond News Editor Jeff Holmquist.' When I put this message through my Mustard Decoder Ring it comes out like this: 'crosby, stills .... flowers in hair ... smokin' .... free love ... bush halliburton ... military industrial complex ... hate freedom ... follow marx ... tax everyone ... indoctrinate communism ...unionize populace ...public school monopoly ... burn flag ... hate rove ... WAKE UP WHEN ALARM GOES OFF" Frightened neocons begged Mr. Zipper for advice on how to avoid JPN's libero-mind-beams. Zipper immediately provided plans for the only known protection - The Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie.

Congressional Steroid Hearings Continue

A candidate for Hudson mayor provided testimony to a congressional committee investigating the use of steroids by campaign signs. The candidate pointed his finger at the committee members and adamantly stated: "My signs have never used steroids. Period. I don't know how to say it any more clearly than that. Never. Ever. Period." Senator Feingold (D-WI) questioned the candidate on why his signs needed a post-and-beam substructure to hold them aloft. The candidate answered: "My signs have achieved their robust size by maintaining a strict cross-training regimen and ingesting high-protein shakes. There has been no use of performance-enhancing drugs." Senator Kohl (D-WI) questioned whether the signs need to be so large in order to be effective. The candidate explained, "This is the new world order for campaign signs. What was once considered an effective size, is now considered puny. We've just raised the bar." Several of the 100-plus signs around Hudson were asked to comment, but they chose to let their 15,860 pt.-font letters speak for themselves.


Bob Z Squeaks...

Pen & Ink Jabs: Sunshine Weak

Sunshine Week: March 12-18

Freedom Of Information - It's For Everybody!

The first national Sunshine Week: Your Right to Know was launched March 13, 2005 and continued through the following Saturday. The spirit of Sunshine Week, however, lasts through the year, as newspapers, magazines, broadcasters, Web sites and others continue a dialogue about the importance of open government to the public.

"This is not just an issue for the press. It’s an issue for the public," says Cox Newspapers' Washington Bureau Chief Andy Alexander, chairman of the American Society of Newspaper Editors' Freedom of Information Committee. "An alarming amount of public information is being kept secret from citizens, and the problem is increasing by the month. Not only do citizens have a right to know, they have a need to know."

"Our goal," Alexander says of Sunshine Week, "is to raise public awareness of this horrible trend that is hurting democracy."

During Sunshine Week, participating daily and weekly newspapers, magazines, online sites, and radio and television broadcasters run editorials, op-ed columns, editorial cartoons, public forums, and news and feature stories that drive public discussion about why open government is important to everyone, not just to journalists.

Learn more: Sunshine Week.Org


Coming Distractions

Thoughts On Kirby Puckett

"Baseball doesn't owe me a thing. I owe my whole life to baseball."
--Kirby Puckett (1960-2006)

People come and go...that's the way life works. I never met Kirby Puckett, shook his hand, asked for his autograph or touched him. But he touched me. I saw him in action at the Metro Dome numerous times, watched and listened as his career with the Minnesota Twins started, climbed its way to a place in the Baseball Hall of Fame and was cut short. Over the past week, I've been reading the stories and listening to the tributes to the the late, great Kirby Puckett. For myself, reflecting on Kirby's 12-year career with the Twins, I'll take the game six home run in the 1991 World Series for my highlight.

It was do or die for the Twins that October Sunday night. Atlanta was leading the Series 3-2. I was at my Dad's house watching the game. I'm in the easy chair and the Old Man is sitting in his chair with Mittens the cat sleeping on his lap. The score was tied 3-3 going into the bottom of the 11th. Atlanta's Charlie Leibrandt threw the pitch and Kirby blasted the ball over the left-field fence to extend the Series to game seven. Both the Old Man and I shouted "YES!" at the same time, jumped up and did the High-5 thing. The cat jumped about five feet into the air, ran into the kitchen and hid. I told the Old Man I'd be back the next night to watch the final game.

The Old Man has passed on as have Kirby and Mittens the cat. Life works that way. I'm not sure I always accept the ways in which life works, but I am forever thankful for the memories I've been provided. I remember that October night a decade and a half ago like it was yesterday. I'd give everything to live that night over, but I know it will never happened. Memories come and go, but some of them stick with you forever...that's the way life works.

Quotes of Note: Free Press

“You hear about constitutional rights, free speech and the free press. Every time I hear these words I say to myself, 'That man is a Red, that man is a Communist!' You never hear a real American talk like that.”

Frank Hague (1876-1956)
American Mayor of Jersey City 1917-1947

Pen & Ink Jambs

It's The Same Old Whine On The Borderline!

Once again, the self-appointed keepers of freedom's flame at the ontheborderline.net blog site have climbed up on their self-righteous soapbox, whipped open their Colombo trench coats and exposed their limp version of the truth. They are charging the Hudson Star Observer with over-editing a recent letter to the editor. Apparently, the HSO of edited out 250 words from one of their high priest's editor letters. (Note: Sometimes writers are their own worst editor and it takes a professional to clean up their mess.)

Evidently the high priest had a conversation with the acting HSO editor that wasn't leading to the hoped-for result, i.e. getting his way. An OTBL'er ain't happy and it sounds like someone in the conversation was being way too curt. (Note: Wasn't there an incident in Hudson last June where two people would not play be Roberts Rules of Order at a Hudson school board meeting and had to leave early? Didn't we hear this same old censorship whine back then?)

In an OTBL post titled "Censorship Alive and Well At The Hudson Star Observer," we learn, "So much for fair and balanced reporting here in Hudson. What we are seeing is cut throat politics at its very worst. Taxpayers be damned. Here is my letter in its entirety. The highlighted area is what was deleted by Mr. Hanson and Mr. Dzubay in a deliberate act of censorship." (Note: If you plan to climb into the wallow of self pity, it's best to do it with the pigs you know best.)

You can go to the OTBL web site to read this complete post.

It's interesting that an OTBL'er would expect a news organization to be "fair and balanced," considering the number of posts OTBL does that are linked to FOX News. "Cut throat politics?"...that sounds like what OTBL'ers do on a daily basis. As the outhouse keepers of individual liberty and boot-lickers of liaise-faire selfishness, it's baffling that the OTBL blog site would allow a private business like the HSO to be shamelessly attacked for running it's business the way it sees fit. That would be like me calling up someone who runs a business on the internet, telling them how they should run their business and then getting mad at the business owner for not doing it my way. That's nuts!

Of course, as followers of the aimless ramblings and incoherent rantings of the discarded and discredited political and economical hearsay that litter the OTBL archives, we at this blog site have come to expect the extremist belligerence of their hypocritical tirades. Simply put, OTBL babies pout when they don't get their way.

OTBL'ers please note, a newspaper can print what it chooses. You send in the letter and the editors makes ANY tweaks they see fit. I've submitted many letters to the editors and I haven't always been happy with, or understood the rationale behind, the editing. If you're going to play in the letter to the editor game, you've got to play by the rules. The rules are made up by the newspaper and these rules can change like the wind.

Enough of my soapboxing, on to the hypocrisy on the borderline. Let's say you want to join in the conversation, discussion, debate, pity party, etc. at OTBL. You click a little box on the left side of the blog site that says REGISTER. Once in there it will ask for you name, phone number, etc. After filling in this info, you get to read the "fine print" of the hypocritical, "free speech" practiced at OTBL. (Note: Whenever I read or hear an OTBL'er use the phrase "free speech," I substitute the phrase "cheap talk.")

It reads as follows:
"The opinions expressed herein are the opinions of each individual. They do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the administrator of this site. This is a private blog and all postings and comments become property of the administrator of the blog. Each and every participant of this blog also acknowledges that any posting or comments may be modified, edited, screened, or deleted without question. Additionally, the new registrant also acknowledges that they may not be allowed to post or comment. New registrants will be put on a moderated status and allowed to submit a comment. However, It may take a while for the comments to get approved and posted. Again, the administrator can modify, edit, or delete any submitted material without question. The users of the blog system, also agree to self moderate and use their best judgment as to content provided to the blog. The admin is not responsible for inappropriate material submitted by others and will delete once he is made aware of it. If you agree go ahead and press register. The admin may also use the supplied phone number only to contact the registrant to confirm that the identity of the registrant and will keep any such information confidential. A password will be emailed to you."
Maybe my powers of interpretation are flawed somehow, but the OTBL rules of engagement seem to cover the same thing their high priest is complaining about above. They will slice and dice your comments to fit their political spin and, if you don't toe their line, they'll kick you off the blog. Now Chris Kilber, the administrator of the OTBL blog has stated in posts before that his blog is a "private blog" and the conversation that goes on within the confines of his blog is private and not open to the public. Of course, he writes letters to the editor and tells everybody to come visit his blog and see what a wonderful asset it is for expanding and enhancing the community's conversation. Piss and lemonade look the same from a distance, but taste it and you'll learn the difference. Ditto for OTBL.

No OTBL'ers, this isn't an issue of censorship. This is a case where the home owner shot the dog in the ass with a BB gun to keep him from pooping on the lawn. Now the dog is back in the OTBL kennel howling indignation and the other dogs are intermittently joining in the chorus and licking the wounded dog's backside.

Always remember, the OTBL'ers portray themselves as "freedom loving " guys who speak only in the best, benevolent interest of those of us who make up the ignorant masses. "Freedom" is the mantra chanted by the OTBL bloggers as they exercises the iron fist
of conformity and delete all who enter that blog speaking positively about public education, unions or bettering the community.

They fight for "Freedom" as long they get to define "freedom." OTBL is control freak central and it's run by a computer
programming geek who provides space at the shallow end of the social/political/economical cesspool for anti-community misfits who continue to try to pawn off their desperate dog paddling as Olympic-style synchronized swimming. Maybe it's time the OTBL'ers stop humiliating mongrel dogs by using one as their mascot. Maybe they should instead adopt Hal from "2001: A Space Odyssey" as their mascot.

What a crock!