6/30/2007

Borderline Book Club Warehouse Attacked - OTBL Points Finger At Teacher Union Thugs

Shortly before 3:00AM. Neighbors in the Borderline Book Club Warehouse district were awakened by an enormous Boom!


They subsequently learned the The Borderline Warehouse had exploded in a fireball of flames. Members of the Borderline Bookclub were said to be devastated by the event. It has been learned form ATBL investigative sources that all 20 copies of the recently released best seller "The Price of Sin" had been stored in the clubs warehouse. Despondent authors Bubonic and Erikson could not be reached for comment however a spokesperson for ontheborderline.nut stated. "This is obviously the work of local teacher union thugs and government school supporters." Hudson firefighters called to the scene of the explosion and fire were unable to extinguish the blaze and dismissed the incident as an unfortunate accident, they then proceeded to Dick's Bare to celebrate with a few ice cold blogger lagers.
Get "The Price of Sin" @ 50% off.
















The remaining copies of "The Price of Sin" were immediately discounted in a effort to recover a small portion of the vanity press expense incurred by the authors.

O. Nonimous Squeaks

Dick Chaney Releases First Rap Single




















Listen to Dick's Hit Single:

Lyrics:

Distributed by Corporate Ho Records.




One Corporate Interest Indivisable















This 4th of July you might want to consider flying a flag that truly represents the fight for establishing an oligarchy and the original vision of our founding corporate interests.

So, this 4th why not fly a flag that truly represents the real meaning of the day? Fly corporate stars and when your neighbor asks you what it is, give them the history lesson they are too lazy to learn on their own and should have learned in school!

6/29/2007

Lessons From The Price of Sin: What Goes Up...


Deportee Blues

Alderdude Implicated

Two stage hands die after Rolling Stones Spain gig

"I did turn on the Rolling Stones before leaving for a breakfast appointment downtown Hudson, and I did leave a window open. (No, there were no speakers in the window. This was just an iPod sitting on a table in an iDock, and loud enough to be hear but no blaring.) I left my cell phone number with Mrs. Snow and asked that Mr. Snow call me and I would return home to turn off the music, but first we would discuss the overnight noise issue."

Alderdude


Fri Jun 29, 9:08 AM ET
Two workers died on Friday after part of the set from a Rolling Stones concert collapsed on top of them as they were dismantling it, emergency services said.

A third man was seriously injured after four people fell from a 33-foot structure that gave way as the team helped take it down after Thursday night's concert in Madrid.

A white-haired man with thick glasses carrying a boombox, who goes by the name of Alderdude, was seen hanging around the set at about 4 am the previous morning. Residents of Hudson, Wisconsin are asked to keep a look out for the man at City Hall.

Fatherly Advice Overheard Ontheborderline...



"Son, the next time one of those conspiratorial government employees driving a squad car stops you for running a stop sign, just say 'What stop sign?' When he says, 'That one back there,' you tell him that you thought that sign stood for 'Statists Thieve Our Possessions.' If that don't get you off the hook, tell him I'll write him a letter."

Mr. Peanut

Set Yourself Free - Get Your Fake Degree













"We're not real Doctors but we play them on our blog
www.ontheborderline.nut to inflate our already gigantic egos."

The names have been changed to protect the guilty.


Author Biography

Mark Alan Bubonic holds a M.A. degree in Economics from the Gomer Pyle School @ the University of Alabama and a B.A. in Economics from Florida Southern College. His career over the past twenty years has been involved as a legalized gambler in the equity markets, the greatest supply and demand Casino in the world. Mark’s interests are farout and wide off the mark, but Rightwingnut Laissez Faire Economics and American Revisionist history are his scholarly passions. Those passions have led to extensive writings regarding the basis of Libertarian Lunacy. Mark currently resides in Wisconsin along with his Big Red Dog Clifford. ..~.. Daniel Erickson received his MBA in 1989 from the University of Wisconsin system -Martel Campus. He is former Senior Audacitator for a Un-Fortunate 100 Company and currently an independent audacitating consultant (read as "unemployed" ) . Mr. Erickson’s vocations and interests are wide ranging from ski mask blogging and unicycle racing to study and writing in the areas of Ayn Rand Objectivist crackpot philosophy and Von Misean Laissez Faire economics. Mr.(not a real Dr. ) Erickson has been a leading advocate of Wal-market education reform in Wisconsin, proposing such novel ideas as the "Give me my Friken Money Back Educational Tax Credit". He is an author of a brazillian blogsphere articles, both under his real name and under thinly veiled pseudonyms. He resides in a secret unrevealed location under the witness protection program.

6/27/2007

Michael, meet the borderliners, borderliners meet Michael


From Newsweek:

By David Ansen
Newsweek
Updated: 8:26 a.m. CT June 22, 2007

June 22, 2007 - "Whatever you think of Michael Moore—and who doesn't have an opinion?—the man has an impeccable sense of timing. His newest polemic, "Sicko," takes aim at our disastrous health-care system at a moment in the national debate when even the die-hardest boosters of free enterprise acknowledge that major changes have to be made, if not the free universal health care that most Western countries offer, and that we resist."

I guess David Ansen has never meet our local "Die Hards"!

Ludwig von Mises As a Baby...

Breaking NEWS!!!

The Borderline Book Club announced today that is has sold 1 more copy of
"The Price of Sin".


















Elma Erikson ( long lost cousin of "Price of Sin" ( available at a borderline bookstore near you ) co-author Faux Dr. Bill ) in an exclusive interview says: " After reading the scintillating interview with the book's co-author at ontheborderline.nut, I just had to go out and buy a copy. I remember my Great Great Uncle Adam bragging and name dropping down at the The Side Tap Trap, about hanging out with Abe and Sarah just before the War (Civil that is ). Everyone knew that Uncle Adam told these whoppers just to get attention because he never really accomplished anything of any worth on his own. When my cousin Faux Dr. Bill told that story about our family in his interview, I knew I had to get the book just to bring back old memories of my eccentric Great Great Uncle Adam."
With the publicity machine churning at ontheborderline.nut, publicists for the book say it's likely
they may even sell another copy this month.

We now return to our regularly scheduled blogging.

6/26/2007

Knowlt Hoheimer by Edgar Lee Masters


I was the first fruit of the battle of Missionary Ridge.
When I felt the bullet enter my heart
I wished I had staid at home and gone to jail
For stealing the hogs of Curl Trenary,
Instead of running away and joining the army.
Rather a thousand times the county jail
Than to lie under this marble figure with wings,
And this granite pedestal
Bearing the words, "Pro Patria."
What do they mean, anyway?


--from Spoon River Anthology



"What do they mean, anyway? They mean, 'For one's country.' Any country at all."

US Ambassador Horlick Minton

6/25/2007

OnTheBorderLine.nut: Whine of the Weak

Cheap fills...


"As always, the lesson of political history is the same: Save us from our saviors."
-James Bovard


Congratulations!

How Much Does It Cost?



Yesterday, the New Richmond airport hosted its annual air show. One of the features of the event was a fly-over by a C-130 from the Minnesota Air National Guard. Watching the huge plane drop down and make a pass over the airport, I got to wondering how much this costs the taxpayers? Personally, I think it was pretty awesome seeing the plane so up close and personal.

But then I started to think about how much that costs the taxpayers. I didn't come up with a dollar figure, but I did find some interesting info about flying the plane:

The cost of a C-130 is approximately $66 million -- or two-thirds of the recent New Richmond school referendum passed.

Minimum crew to fly the C-130: two pilots, one flight engineer, and one loadmaster.

Fuel consumption rate: 200 gallons per minute.

My guess is it had to be at least a half hour of flying time to do the New Richmond flyover. As you can see, this ain't a cheap joy ride on the taxpayers dime. I don't have a problem with the flyover, I just have a problem with the local anti-education bloggers at ontheborderline.nut missing such a wonderful opportunity to point out how taxes dollars are put to use for things other than public schools.

If you have any qualified guess on the cost of flying a C-130 for a half hour, post them in the comments.

6/24/2007

Hail Damage Extensive: OTBL Blames Government Schools

Approximately $ 1 Million in damage is the estimated price tag of damage incurred by St. Croix County property owners from a severe storm system that rolled through the area last week. Sightings of 3" or baseball sized hail were
common along with significant damage reports.

The crack Meteorological Ivestigated Team from the "ontheborderline.nut weather blog channel immediately released a statement placing the blame on governments schools and their statist policies. "In a truely laissez fair economy, hail could never have grown that large or become that plentiful, as the invisible hand of the market would have curtailed further growth as soon as hailstone supply outstripped demand. "
The OTBL statement went on to demand that felony vandalism charges be brought against local area government school students who mercilessly pummeled the area with the 3" hailstones .



"These students are adults and should be made to take responsibility for their actions. Dropping
hailstones of such an enourmous size over several area counties can only be seen as a malicious crimminal act and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."
A spokesperson for OTBL concluded saying: "There's little or nothing of negative consequence
that ever happens where blame cannot be traced, directly or indirectly back to the monopolistic government school system. If only we had free market schools, events like these would cease to occur."

New Game Show: Stick A Cork In It



The companies that make Kaopectate and Swine Whine corks have decided to get in on fastest growing trend in the St. Croix Valley -- silencing the idiots at the ontheborderline.nut blog site. With the help of these fine sponsors, this will make quite an addition for the upcoming Fall lineup. This is “must see tv” at it’s best!

Watch as migrants working in the fields around St. Croix County work overtime to silence the racist ignorance leaking down the pant leg of the ontheborderline.nut blog site. The workers will appear on-location at a local bean field where they will hold down contestants with names like Luke, Towncrier, ebaybaby, O. Nonimous and Flash. The goal will be to eliminate their chronic ailment of racist stupidity that continues to leave an ugly skidmark on the borderline.

The show will be a double-elimination contest. N. Onimous will be the first contestant. In round one, gallons of Keopectate will be forced into O. Nonimous’s large mouth. Rumor has it that he moonlights as a auxiliary septic system, because of his seemingly endless capacity to excrete bullshit. After commercials from various free-market capitalists showing a unbelievably healthy minority child being lovingly cared for at a clinic run by Minnesota-based company that pays its CEO $1 billion annually, O. Nonimous will be allowed to pontificate to a panel of publicly elected members of a local school board.

If the stupidity continues to leak from O. Nonimous, the workers will apply a very large cork to his anal orifice. The cork will be lowered into the insertion site by a huge crane. The reason for the large cork is that O. Nonimous is such a big asshole. Rumor has it that he is negotiating with North Shore Airlines to use his orifice as an auxiliary hanger. Evidently, negotiations have stalled as North Shore Airlines tries to meet O. Nonimous’s demand that the words “gold standard.” “Communist plot,” “government school conspiracy” and “statists” is worked into the contract a combined 666 times. NorthShore Airlines hopes to capitalize on this opportunity to re-introduce the practice of serving nuts on its flights.

After more free-market capitalist commercials that try to sell you clothes made by starving, orphaned nine year olds in “humidity enhanced production facilities” in the swamps of India, O. Nonimous will again question the panel. If the leakage isn’t stopped, O. Nonimous will be “escorted” off the set, have his upper and lower orifices taped and will be driven to a golf outing by a retired superintendent to an undisclosed golf course that is approximately 158.7 miles round trip. If the workers succeed in stopping the stupidity leaking from O. Nonimous, they will be awarded the $957,582 in profits from the school district pop machines and have their pictures taken with the ontheborderline.nut blog members holding a rebel flag.

To qualify for the show, you must be unemployed, supported by your wife and blog at least 18 hours a day. Surprisingly, the only qualified applicants were found at the ontheborderline.nut blog. Throughout the first episodes, a special pictorial reminded will be present showing at the ontheborderline.nut contestants wearing “Viva Bush” buttons and licking W’s boots during his appearance in Hudson in 2004. So grab your vomit bag and enjoy the show.

Dotcom...mandments










Sunday Morning Satire