The Genocide In Darfur

"And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain; and when he was set, his disciples came unto him, and he opened his mouth and taught them, saying: ..."



"'Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad, for great is your reward in heaven; for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.'"

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Enemies

"There is something positive to be gained by acknowledging one's enemies. Like all God's creatures, enemies have a purpose in the world. They offer criticism of one's conduct (albeit unsought) that is not always provided by friends. They also encourage self-esteem. How would we know the magnitude of our own worth without someone so worthless attacking it?"

Roger Rosenblatt

Good vs. Evil

"A good man out of the good treausre of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh."

Luke 6:45

Judge Not

"Judge not and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven..."

Luke 6:37

Mr. Peanut Sticks It To the Board

Holiday Gift Ideas For The Soon To Be Homeless

Your job got outsourced.
The Bank's foreclosing on the house.
But the rugrats still want Christmas Toys?
Nort Shaw Holiday Gifts Inc. has the perfect solution.
Lead Based paint makes the perfect gift for the little ones that
won't live long enough to die from cancer. So before you move into the carboard box, put the kids to work decorating it in style.

Holiday Gift Ideas for the Looming Depression

The ultimate chopping block by the North Shore Nut Factory!!!

Does taking the green out of your end-of-the-year profits to pacify those statistics you call "employees" make you see red during the holiday season? Do the words "cold is cheap" dance in your head, as you shell out for another holiday lunch for those employees who are lucky their jobs have yet to be outsourced to India? Are you hoping the money you invested in a real estate venture called "Pottersville" will finally pay off in 2008?

Maybe this is the year to give your statistics a chopping block...since your ongoing negotiation with a Chinese sweatshop look like their jobs will be eliminated in 2008. A chopping block from the North Shore Nut Factory is one of the most scurvy-ass gifts that you can give to your employees. What other piece of cheesy chipboard will those whiny ungratefuls still remember you by years later when they spent their retirement as Wal-Mart greeters or derelicts sleeping in front of the Union Gospel Mission?

With our unique firebombing process, using my own gas produced from my endless compost of blog bullshit and Dr. Bill's dictionary for those suffering from terminal nocturnal admissions, we can anonymously reproduce your logo and leave a permanent imprint that will be a reminder into perpetuity of your stupidity in buying your gifts from me. Fruitcake will never be the same...

Please call us today at MY-DUCT-TAPE or (800)666-1776 to receive a free market sample.

North Shore Nut Factory
Ditchweed, MN

With our tremendous volume discount, you can never order too many of our chopping blocks. If you do have extras, you can find a resell market for them next April.

Q: Who Sounds Like A San Fransisco Liberal?

"We talk about medical marijuana and, as a physician, it's controversial in conventional medicine. I happen to believe that it is probably very, very helpful, and I bet you there are a few testimonials for that. But even in the legislative sense - in the political sense - the federal government doesn't have this authority. I mean, if a state especially comes in and says you can use it, like some of these states have, then for the federal government to come in and say that we are going to override the state law, even if it's just a modest legalization, and override this law, that's an offense just on the issue of states' rights. But how can people do this? How can an individual talk to you like that, and still say, 'Well, I'm a compassionate conservative - I want you to suffer'? That's what they're saying. You know, it's outrageous."

Republican Ron Paul
Durham, New Hampshire Town Hall meeting
Nov. 9, 2007

Q: What's Worse Than Egg On Your Face?