8/27/2006

Holmquist’s Henchmen take over New Richmond school board

Led by their fearless leader Jeff Holmquist, the thugs took over the New Richmond school board. They’ve been there ever since they lost the election. They crowded the chambers, not looking for improving the quality of education, creating adequate competition for a failing system, or demanding consequences for incompetent teachers and administrators. No, they were there to hang the newly elected school board members and others on the board with which they disagree.

For more details on the ever expanding conspiracy theory surrounding the New Richmond school district, check out your local Internet sleuths at www.ontheborderline.net.

This just in from one of the OTBL Columbos -- of which there are many -- Jack Bauer found a thumb print smudged piece of toilet paper while getting a drink of water in the restroom at the New Richmond school district office. Bauer, after consulting with OTBL'ers Luke and O. Nonimous, concluded that the thumb print might be tied to the Willi threat letter mystery.

Stay tune for more details at our 17:76 edition in 666 minutes.

2 comments:

Steve McGarret 5-O said...

New Theory:

Chief Trende dictated the Willi threat letter to Holmquist, who typed it on his work computer. Stohlberg hand wrote the envelope. The Teachers' Union reps licked the envelope, and a group of teacher spouses attached the stamp. Ziller was there but missed the whole thing because he was mixing up a batch of Metamucil. Luke wasn't there because he was watching old reruns of the Carson Show to catch up on Carnac bits.

Case solved.

Book 'em Danno!

To Be Without A Spoon said...

Luke was calling to make arrangements for a late night Tea Party in Ellsworth where Jack Bauer would perform the role of sex kitty. However, Luke wasn't able to force Jack to sign the sex kitten contract because his thumb print was smudge with cheap eyeliner that came from an Illinois enema bandit names Lil Bill.