1/26/2007

If Borderline turkeys had wings...

Two men dressed in pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle of the airplane. Both are wearing duct tape across their eyes, one is using a guide dog named Mascot, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane much like the one used by Mr. Peanut. Nervous laughter spread like chunky peanut butter one white bread through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.

The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the end of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.

At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

In the cockpit, one of the duct-tape blind pilots turns to the other and says, "You know Curt, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

The other replied, “Yea Bill, if Milton Freidman hadn’t come up with that idea about deregulating the airlines, guys like us would still be unqualified to drive government schools.”

After a moment, Bill replied, “Curt, you fly for a while. I got to get my laptop out and start a blog post on this topic. I bet you I can crank out a 30,000 word post by the time we get to Phoenix.”

“Hey Bill,” replied Curt, “did you see the socialist scum babe with the big hooters? She’s got capitalist assets!”

“Curt, how could you see anything with your eyes duct taped?”

“Well Bill, by now you should know that, not only do I know all, but I see all.”

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