12/31/2006

Hudson's Hot Air Affair Announces New Participant


After being silenced by all local media outlets and defeated in a recent school referendum, a local group of Internet bloggers has decided to take its message to the air. The www.ontheborderline.nutz blog site has officially submitted its application for a balloon spot in Hudson's 2007 Hot Air Affair. Although the OTBL bloggers have not completed construction of the balloon, Mickal Phoneyckov, blog administrator, has submitted a computerized rendition of the balloon (pictured above).

Luke Carnac, official manure manager at OTBL, said the OTBL'ers have ceased all letter writing campaigns, whine parties and slander fests until the balloon is complete. He said, as always, they will do most of their work anonymously under the cover of late night darkness. Carnac said the bloggers decided on the balloon project as a way to get the local community to look up to them.

When ask about their experience in hot air ballooning, Carnac snarled that nobody in the group has any experience in ballooning. "In case you haven't been paying attention for the past few years," Carnac pointed out in his Type-A authoritarian tone of voice, "we don't have any experience in any of the things we do. Our expertise has always been in generating hot air and being the sand in the community jar of Vaseline."

Carnac pointed out that the balloon will be constructed out of rotted particle board left over from their recent, failed attempt at defeating a school referendum. He said the particle board will be fastened together with $99,820 worth of duct tape purchased with money from the NO Group anti-community war chest. To save weight on the balloon and reduce costs, they will not use a propane burner to generate hot air. Instead, Luke Carnac will be the single source of hot air. When asked if he could generate that much hot air, Carnac asked, "Why do you think we at OTBL are so against those liberal fruitcakes trying to save the polar bears from global warming?"

"Because you are the major contributors to global warming with all the methane and hot air you generate?," replied this reporter.

"Exactly, you conspiratorially socialist panhandler living off the tax dollars of guys like me who don't actually work for a living."

"But I work for a privately owned newspaper," countered this reporter.

"As always," threatened Carnac, "don't confuse me with the facts!"

When this reporter mentioned that the balloon project sounded like something that PBS's Canadian handiman Red Green would be proud of, Carnac spit-showered back, "Only a socialist scum reporter would think of using the word 'red.'"

2 comments:

CANRAC said...

Canrac on the special election.

What should have been held this winter because VOTE YES would have looked stunning on Mr. Nutz.

CANRAC said...

Ssshhhhhh, has anybody told these Einsteins that the Hot Air Affair is held on goverment run school grounds? Rumor has it in order to conserve on propane costs other OTBL's have been called in to provide "hot air".

And if they get put behind the mayor who supported the school project and get out of line, maybe the corrupt and playingfavorites HPD can get them back in line.