OTBL Advanced Government Studies Institute

Killbear: Tonight on the Killbear Rapport we have a special segment.
We have invited the intellectual doctors from OTBL to join us in a round
table discussion.
We will ask each to give advice to one of their
newest members on how to obtain a Ph.D. (a/k/a Piled Higher & Deeper).


On my right is OTBL novice Mr. Left Bower. Welcome, Mr. Bower. I understand you have matriculated at the OTBL Institute for your advanced degree.

Bower: That's correct Chris. I'm majoring in Rugged Individualistic
Wealth Building, Anti-Collectivism and Revenge Against Our Enemies, with
a minor in Humor.

Killbear: Yes, very minor indeed. How long will it take to earn your
Ph.D.?

Bower: Earn?

Killbear: Yes, you know, how long do you have to study the philosophy
of the masters - Rand, von Mises, the Founding Fathers?

Bower: Study?

Killbear: OK, moving on. With us tonight is Dr. Wheeze, Dr. Bil, Dr.
Bubonic, and Dr. SeeKay. Welcome doctors!

Doctors: Shut Up!

Killbear: OK, down to business. Mr. Bower recently went out on a limb
on OTBL to crow about the results of the New Richmond school board
primary contest, as if those results have some meaning for the final
election. Was that wise? Dr. Bubonic, you have some experience in this
area. What can you tell Mr. Bower?

Dr. Bubonic: Don't think of OTBL as the place to sway public opinion in
your direction. The average citizen isn't going to give any weight to
your ramblings. Better to use OTBL as a place to write forcefully, like
a man, instead of speaking in public with a femmy thespian lisp.

Killbear: Interesting. Dr. Wheeze, what advice can you give to Mr.
Bower?

Dr. Wheeze: Don't think of OTBL as the place to get the heartfelt
thanks of your fellow citizens for everything you have done for them -
because the ungrateful bastards will never give it to you!! Better to
use OTBL as a place to pat yourself on the back continuously under
various aliases so you feel better about yourself.

Killbear. Good advice. Dr. Bil, what can you tell Mr. Bower?

Dr. Bil: Don't think of OTBL as the place to openly debate your
opponents about the issues of the day that affect us all. Better to use
OTBL as a place to repeat your positions ad nauseum to make yourself
seem taller, more intellectual, and more right than you are in real
life.

Killbear: Well said. And last, Dr. SeeKay - any thoughts for Mr.
Bower?

Dr. SeeKay: Don't think........ and don't ask so many damn questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Killbear: Exactly. I think that sums it up for the entire OTBL
doctorhood. So what do you say Mr. Bower - or may I call you Left?

Bower: Sure, call me Left. It's not my real name anyway.

Killbear: Excellent! I see you are well on your way to having that
sheepskin on your wall!