You Might Be Allowed To Join ontheborderline.net If...

1. You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

2. You've ever referred to someone as "my (socialist/communist/collectivist) friend."

3. You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

4. You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

5. You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."

6. You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Femi-nazi."

7. You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

8. You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

9. You use any of these terms to describe your wife: Luke, Jack Bauer, tax deduction.

10. You scream "I'm wearing duct tape" while making love.