New Richmond Do Do Gang Announces Fundraiser

The Jack Bauer Village Idiot Doll
In order to pay for the internet connections that allow members of the New Richmond Do Do Gang to continue to post slander, lies and misinformation on the www.ontheborderline.net blog site, the DDG will be selling the Jack Bauer Village Idiot Inaction Figure for a very limited time.


These toys are NOT from everyone. If you can drool out of both sides of your mouth, don't even think about purchasing this soon to be junk collectors item. If you think you're dumber than a box of rocks, this toy may be too advanced for you. If you think reading an entire Dr. Bill OTBL post is more exciting than watching paint dry, keeping walking. If you can't figure out what "dratsum" spelled backwards and think Bobzilla was joking about the 24X7X365 school year calendar, be careful of the lid falling the next time you get a drink of water.

If the truth is something you run away from, you are definitely part of the target market of this. If 1 + 1 is a difficult math equation for you to solve, buy now. If you think there's a vast conspiracy in St. Croix County involving the police, government officials, the local school administrations, public school teachers and the night janitor at the Lowry Hotel, you probably already have two of these and will probably want to order the optional black helicopter.

The Do Do Gang will be selling these inaction figures outside the New Richmond Middle School during any bomb threat evacuations. You can also pick them up at any Do Do Gang public meeting, if you're invited, know the meeting's secret location and have that night's password.

And because "they care about the kids," the Do Do Group will be handing these dolls out to any NR middle school students who choose to stand out in front of the school on -30 degree mornings wearing shorts and not having the good sense to go into to the warm building because that ain't cool...