Hope for the Heartless

The growing epidemic of heartlessness concerns us all, it's an
unrelenting blight upon our nation. Today the malady seems to infect
mostly those of European decent with large pockbooks and mouths to match.
Symptons include, repeating the phrase "Let them eat cake", "It's my
money!" and "They are not my problem!" when referring to the downtrodden,homeless,
and chronically ill. A disproportionately large number heartless come from the minority subculture known as Objectivists. Scientists theorize that it could result
from a genetic predisposition if it were not for the fact that Objectivists chose
to participate in this subculture of their own free will.
Diagnosis is accomplished by observing everyday behavior and watching for
comments like the following:

"Continuing a sad existence does not benefit me or humankind. It may benefit their relatives and freinds, but let them take care of the person then."

The Alisa Rosenbaum Home for the Heartless is the only care facility to specialize
in the treatment of Objectivist heartlessness. Our clients report an exceptionally
low rate of recidivism, an achivement we credit to our experience group and individual counselors.

If you suspect a friend or loved one may suffer from this
affliction, don't hesitate. Call today to set up an intervention before it's too late.


Dear Ayn Landers said...

I know people who have fallen prey to objectivism. I've tried to tell them to stop kicking the dog and yelling at their neighbors but they insist it's their right. What can I do?

Ayn Landers said...

Dear MInd Of Your Own:

If any objectionists let their dog poop in your yard while taking it for a walk, make sure to file a complaint with the local police department.