Hudson Star Observer Readers Blinded by "The Light"

WRITERS LIGHT UP HSO by bildanielson @ 7:57 am
"There must be something
in the early February air.... Four of the eight letters submitted to the
Hudson Star Observer really lit things up. We have some very bright bulbs burning in St Croix County!"

BREAKING NEWS

This just in. Rising electricity costs from lighting have been putting
pressure on the Hudson school district's energy budget this year. Now
the district has received help in the nick of time - and from the
unlikeliest of sources. The anti-public education group of Hudson
(known as APEG) has inadvertently saved the district thousands of
dollars in energy costs. By APEG exposing their bright bulbs to light
up the early February air, the school district has been able to hit the
dimmer switch on their own florescent lights. The district's supervisor
of facilities and grounds, said: "APEG may hate our guts and want to blast
us off the face of the earth with their Advanced Tactical Laser but,
in the meantime, we'll take any help we can get on our energy costs -
even the glow from their freakin' heads!"
A top district official phoned APEG spiritual leader Dr.Bill
to personally thank him for the additional help he is
providing. "Dr. Bill has been spreading cow dung in large heaps
around the school buildings for years. Biomass materials such as manure make an incredible alternative combustion fuel source!" gushed the unamed official.
Sources close to the district report that APEG has already made record requests to the district for financial information related to governmental expropriation of their luminescence and cow pies, which they claim they plan to sell to the general public at
market-driven prices. Developing ...