12/19/2006

ATBL Online Emporium To Carry Ayn Rand Line of Products For The Holidays



Rugged Individual


You know who you are! You're a hard working, freedom loving, wealth building, libertarian objectivist.
You feel that uneasy nausea at the thought of your confiscated property being used to school the unwashed masses of social ballast. Like your cold blooded temperment, the ice blue color of Rugged Individual evokes the essence of resolute aloofness. There is a "u" in skunk.
You want a fragrance that says: "Just stay away and leave me alone". Well this market niche is empty no longer. Rugged Individual is here!!!!!
Rugged Individual comes in both 4 and 8 fl. oz spray decanters. Make that special someone, (yourself) happy this holiday season. Give them "Rugged Individual".

The small print:

No government rules, regulations, or inspections were permitted during the free market
manufacture of this product in the Sri Lankan sweat shops. Exempt form all tariffs,
sales taxes or other govenment intervention in the pursuit of your happiness.

6 comments:

Calvin Karnac said...

R.I. has a marvelous Bouquet not unlike my recent offering
"Essense of Skunk".

Pepe La Kurt said...

Once again the marketing department of ATBL on the wrong track. Rugged individuals don't give a rip how they smell. Their beef is with how others smell. You need to aim at the true market for this product and that would be the general population that doesn't into our tiny subset.

Maybe you are not paying attention. Our shit doesn't stink. If our shit doesn't stink then the rest of us don't stink. It is our duty to point out that it's everybody else that's stinking up the place.

last minute shopper said...

Andy:

I need to buy a gift for a self-made libertarian who lives by the principles of rational self-interest.

Do you have a cologne that hints at the aroma of the bootstraps that he has pulled himself up by?

AndyRand said...

Dear Future customer:

At present Ayn Rand industries is test marketing their limited line of products on our blog. Our market research indicates that the number of rational self-interest libertarian objectivists in our region may be limited to single digits. We'll see how the holiday sales go. Our research also indicates that our target audience for the most part, pretty much has money coming out the Wazoo. Unfortunately, it to late for the Boot strap fragrance this year, but I'll drop it in the suggestion box.
Maybe the person you have in mind would be interested in one of our other upcoming promotion. For example. Twister Uno....For one player.

Kowboy Kurtass said...

Andy:

When you say "limited to single digits," do you mean like two extended middle fingers? I recently wrote some highly acclaimed poetry -- I liked it anyway -- that mentioned middle fingers.

AndyRand said...

Kowboy,
If you liked that poetry, you'l love
R.I. As a Rugged Individual, you can apply R.I. wherever you please and with
any applicator you choose. Those digits sound just fine for mainline nasal application.