Li'l Bil and President Bush Pull New Richmond Khan Job

Our crank ATBL investigative, gossip reporter, Kitty-Litter, has dug around in a few dumpster down behind Dibbo's in Hudson and unearthed a shocking, conspiratorial connection between Li'l Bil of the OTBL blog and President Bush. The trail of evidence leads back to President Bush's visit to Hudson in the Summer of 2004. Few in town even recall the visit, however Li'l Bil and his minions played a huge part in getting the President to take time out from leaking classified, government secrets to puppet journalists.

Once the President understood that Li'l Bil and his flock were into the same type of slandering on their blog, he quit reading his upside-down goat book and went directly to Hudson. As an apparent front to the whole operation, Bush addressed a hand-picked gathering of sheepeople to listen to him stumble through his speech. In true Jonestown-buffet style, Kool-aid and internet nuts imported from North Hudson were served to all.


When confronted with these pictures as evidence of the looming conspiracy, Li'l Bil pointed at one of the pictures and said, "Look! There's Dr. Burnt carrying a bag with $4.5 million. Yea the guy with the golf shirt from a course in Eau Claire. He was walking back to the office and we think he claimed gas mileage for that. We did a public information request specifically on that."

After his speech, President Bush held a private strategy session with Bil's minions. What transpired during that meeting is classified. However, shortly after Bush left town, the OTBL blog was started in Hudson and Li'l Bil began to pull the wool over our eyes. The President was photographed here handing over a plate of scrambled eggs to Bil's flock. At the time, it was not clear what the eggs were for.

Later Li'l Bil huddled with President Bush in a conspiratorial discussion involving the khan. Those close to Li'l Bil and the President were only able to hear snatches of the conversation. The words "egg," "face," and "New Richmond" were the only ones anyone could recall.

The President then toured Hudson to make it look like he actually gave a rip about the place, shot the breeze with a couple of Main Street photo-opportunists, told the guy at the body shop that he too was a big Merle Haggard fan and continued down the street with his handlers. Momentarily, the President's handlers were distracted by Officer Wiggle writing out a parking ticket for the President's limo. At this point, the President briefly broke away and ran down the street shouting something about wanting to go to "Banana night a Dibbo's."

After being subdued and tranquilized with some "jelly beans" leftover from the Reagan Administration, Bush was led back to the limo as Officer Wiggle was being invited to go to a government "resort" in Cuba for an "information gathering vacation." With the President secured, the limo drove off to the landing pad and soon the President was whisked away in Air Force 666 to his next speaking engagement at Elmwood UFO Days.

This very day, the conspiracy came to the surface. Li'l Bil made the following proclamation from his internet soapbox: "I have some choice words alright, and there are few characters up in New Richmond who will have egg on their faces when I get done. A smear campaign was instigated by three people with the help of an outsider - it won’t take much, nor will I wax to long…but I will be commenting on this matter soon."

Then the secret code phrase was released to Li'l Bil's sheepeople in the following posting at the OTBL blog in a the "Today In History" posting:

2006: The New Richmond News reported noodlely-armed choir boys likened to Pee Wee Herman playing the role of Genghis Khan running rough shod over the populous - brain-dead blogging fruitcakes from Hudson were lurking in dark corners. No one was safe for days.
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The story ends here. However, rumor has it that Kitty Litter's spouse wanted to go out to eat egg sandwiches, pick up some bananas and stop in Hudson at Dibbo's to hear some guy named Yanni play in some band called Chameleon. The last thing Kitty Litter said was "Not without my Zoloft..."