OTBL Leaders Suspect Mole in Ranks

Moscow:

OTBL’s main intelligence agency (yes, I know that’s a contradiction) on Monday accused several unnamed HSO readers of spying — using electronic equipment hidden inside a fake rock in a remote part of Stone Pine. Sources close to OTBL leadership have spoken off the record with the press saying: “Details of our secret plan to overthrow public education have leaked out, we suspect one of our own.” There have been rumors of late that several core OTBL members have been dabbling with Socialist ideas lately. They have been overheard to say things like “Maybe Wal-Mart should provide healthcare benefits to their full time employees” and “I guess my children are getting a fairly good education at Hudson High.” Naturally, this kind of thinking is blasphemous. Our sources report that OTBL leadership has their “undies in a bunch” over this breach in their usually air tight security.

There have been suggestions that the OTBL moles pass their information to outside sources by transmitting data to the spyrock while on latenight walks with their dogs.

Witnesses say they’ve seen members of the OTBL leadership out late at night with metal detectors trying to pinpoint the location of the spyrock.

Meanwhile, the public statements from OTBL continue to claim that critics “Protesteth Too Mucheth”, and “We are concerned citizens who are pro-education reform not anti-public education extremists bent on dismantling the Public Education plague that has befallen our nation.” OTBL leadership refused to comment beyond saying. Or public propaganda clearly states our goals for reform, there is no secret agenda.” (Really?)