Point / Counterpoint with Jane Bauer

Hello, I'm Chris Killbear, station manager for The Killbear Rapport. The topic of tonight's Point-Counterpoint will be the best method for bringing about change in local public bodies. Jane Bauer will take the pro-revenge point and I will take the pro-civility counterpoint.

Jane Bauer: As someone who is actively involved in a community group, I don't want anyone to know who I am. From behind the shadow of anonymity, I and my groupies need to attack our enemies. We have to kick them around and humiliate them - while not sticking our chins out. We must do whatever it takes to get rid of our enemies and, even more, we must make them pay for what they have done. We need to treat them like deer in the headlights and run them off the plantation. Revenge is a dish best served cold - like cold kiddies sitting outside an elementary school.

Killbear: Jane, you ignorant slut. Revenge is not an issue here, any more than is your inability to achieve orgasm. Bagged-out, dried-up, slunken meat like you and your groupies only know how to stab citizens in the back. I'm sure you keep up with the gossip in town by hopping from bed to bed with the frequency of a cheap ham radio. And hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn; so like a screeching, squealing, rapacious swamp sow, you take after your enemies with a shrewish frenzy. You think of nothing but your measly tax dollars when you're on your back and the meter is running. Your obsession with revenge has left you an old, dried-out scuzz, two-bit tart, bargain basement slut that no decent man would be seen with. It's too late for you, Jane, but the rest of society still has a chance at civility, you hosebag!

Jane Bauer: That's the news. Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.