11/12/2005

Borderline Blogger Nut-Brown Ale

It’s been a hard day. You’ve been up since 5:44 A.M. searching the net for Von Mises quotes, swimming laps at the Y, filling out your 500th “Citizen Request for Disinformation”, and picking out an appropriate ensemble for tonight’s school board meeting. (Borderliners always look good with orange, penitentiary style, pants and duck tape accessories, but tonight you’ll settle for the “Defeat Hudson Socialists” T-shirt, and matching “Dubbya Bush 08” baseball cap.) On top of all that you have to set an hour or two aside for some wealth building activities. Being a warrior in the battle to destroy public education is damn hard, thankless work. You still have those lectures to the editor to write to HSO for the next 22 weeks, and papers to file before you make your next election run for the school board. By 2:00 A.M., when your sitting in the basement, at the keyboard, in your boxers, finishing up your last attack on some newly invited blog intruder who wandered onto your cyber shooting gallery (I think it was “citizen” who deviated from the borderline“script”, and used a socialist term like “fair”) you’re about ready to lay back in the lazy boy and enjoy the latest libation from Von Mises Breweries (TM), a cold bottle of Borderline Blogger Nut-Brown Ale.

Borderline Blogger Nut-Brown Ale’s full bodied, like you, with just a hint of that skunk scent that borderliners unconsciously exude. Its the kind of brew that put’s hair on your chest and helps you say to the world “Watch out lady School District Superintendent, I’m gunning for ya.” Like St. Croix Blogger Lager, it comes in the easily recognizable, non-recyclable plain brown bottle, the same kind great-grandpa’d have after a 12hr shift at the paper mill a hundred years ago, before all those socialist entitlements, like workman’s compensation, got passed by the givernment. Great-grandpa never really needed his left hand he lost in the mill accident for drinking.

Boy, didn’t great-grandpa have it good without all those pesky taxes taken out of his $12 Thursday check he’d spend at Dick’s bar.

After a dozen or two Nut-Browns, you’ll nod off into neverland dreaming of the “Good Ole’ Days”. So drink up Bloggers and dream on ‘bout bringin’ those day’s back to America. The next morning at 5:43 AM you’ll be thinking, “Thank God I don’t have a job to go to. Where's my mouse?” If you're just not feeling nutty enough, tip a bottle of Borderline Blogger Nut-Brown Ale for a peek at the nutty side of life.

(Von Mises Brewery, recommends responsible blogging and drinking, and disclaims all responsiblity for damage resulting from the reckless behavior that often results from consuming our products.)

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