Special Guest: Count Vun Tu Tree

Killbear: Welcome back to the Killbear Rapport. I'm your host Chris
Killbear. Tonight's guest is the administrator of the ontheborderline
blog, Mr. Chris "Count Vun Tu Tree" Kilber. Welcome Chris!

CK: Great to be here Chris.

Killbear: Chris, mind if I set a few things down on the desk between
you and me? I've got a ring of garlic, a silver crucifix, a wooden
stake, a mirror, and a sunlamp.

CK: That's fine. I'm accustomed to that because I'm descended from
Vlad the Impaler on my dad's side, and the Marquis de Sade on my
mother's side.

Killbear: Well, I've been looking forward to this interview - I have so
many questions for you.

CK: I'm sorry, you can't ask me any questions. All the answers are
already on my blog. We have millions of words. You just need to look
for the answers. Seek and ye shall find the dark side.

Killbear: So is your blog like a medallion hunt, where you use rhyming
clues? I always enjoy those. For example, if you were to hide some
words of wisdom in the mixed nuts section of the grocery store, you
could use a clue like this: "There once was a man from North Hudson,
Whose mouth really needed some suds in, He put his name on a truck, But
a slinger named Muck, Told his boy "Your dad is a dud, son."

CK: Well, we are considering that because our spiritual leader Dr. Bill
is an eclectic poet. But for now we have another method to spread the
word.

Killbear: What's that?

CK: We repeat the same message over and over ad nauseum. On any given
day you can read the same material that was printed the day before, or
the day before that, or the day before that, ...

Killbear: That's an interesting methodology. I'll bet that keeps your
blog very unfresh and uninteresting.

CK: And unbelievably unctuous.

Killbear: How has the OTBL hit count been these days?

CK: Great. Fantastic. Through the roof.

Killbear: To what do you attribute your incredible success?

CK: We like to think that the dumbing-down of society by the government
schools has opened up a whole new market of stupid haters that find
comfort in our stupid hating.

Killbear: Have you been able to obtain an Advanced Tactical Laser to
take out your enemies?

CK: Not yet. Dr. Conn is in charge of weapons appropriations. He's in
constant contact with the NRA and Halliburton. We expect something
soon.

Killbear: I noticed that, in your own writings, you spell many words
wrong. Do you have a brain disorder?

CK: Yes.

Killbear: I also noticed that you recently celebrated the birthday of
Ayn Rand, who you feel is one of the great philosophers of our age.
Have you read any of her books?

CK: No.

Killbear: Well folks, there you have it. All the answers to all your
burning questions about life. Remember to go to OTBL to check out CK's
latest misspellificationisms, and wear your garlic necklace.