Poetry Is Alive On The Border Line

(Note to our readers: Below is a piece of original poetry submitted by one of our millions of readers. Being very shy and unassuming, this reader prefers to be known only as THE BARD. We hope you enjoy this classic piece of Western writing and, as always, we welcome such submissions from our readership. JPN)

GUESS WHO

A catholic sits in the front pew,
His wife spites the seder meal jew,
She gave the principal a buck,
He taped his face like a duct,
Their videos are on pay-per-view.

Poor gooberman is really quite funny,
The weed makes his failed life seem sunny,
Kudos his wife, of course,
Despite a face like a horse,
She at least provides the family with money.

Dr. Nowhere pipes in bloviation,
Short man syndrome his prime motivation,
Writing War & Peace is just sad,
It leaves his kid with no dad,
And each word is just regurgitation.

Spirit of pubonic floats in like a bird,
“Irregardless” is his favorite non-word,
Says collectivists are rubes,
But with his man boobs,
He has more curves than corners, the turd.

Dr. Luke sticks her dolls with a pin,
But it ne’er helps her candidates win,
And her Carnac is weak,
‘Cause the jokes simply reek,
So she’s off to the old loony bin.

The blogman’s face is frightfully white,
Like Bela Lugosi he stalks the night,
Hack, plagiarize and steal,
He does with great zeal,
And drains bil’s blood with one fangy bite.

The groundhog has popped up for a day,
Though his picket sign might get in the way,
He hung out with Curt,
‘Cause he didn’t think it’d hurt,
But now he craves nuts and wants a toupee.