9/28/2005

Ontheborderline Online Fall Class Offering:

The Ontheborderline Online Educational Institute proudly announces it’s first Online Course. “Applying 18th Century thinking to 21st Century Problems”. Students will explore the history of 18th Century inventions and the appropriate use these emerging technologies to solve current socio-economic dilemmas. Commonly used 18thCentury technology will be analyzed for it's potential modern day use. Long neglected inventions like Jethro Tull’s seed drill(1701) and the guillotine(1789) will once again find their proper role in today’s feudal society.














Educational advances like the dictionary (1755) will be rediscovered,and transportation advance’s such as the Montgolfier brothers’ Hot air Balloon (1783) and the bicycle (1791) will stimulate new thinking for online students to solve present day traffic congestion problems.



















This course will meet all
Borderline Educational Institute standards for back to basics learning. We provide practical hands on instruction as well, for instance, “How to install a Ben Franklin lightning rod (1752)” and “Proper Techniques for Steam Engine (1712) Stoking”












Online learners will be instructed in how to parrot the wisdom of past philosophical giants
repeating phrases like Descarte's "Cognito Ergo Sum" ( I think therefore I am) and practice applying advanced means of persuasion to win friends and influence the ignorant. For example, "Quidquid Latine Dictum Sit Altum Viditur" or (whatever is said in Latin seems profound).
If that doesn't help you pretend to be a "Dr." , nothing will.



Grading will be on the basis of Black (wrong) or White (right), the Ontheborderline Online Educational Institute will show no tolerance for relativism.
(So tell you relatives to start their own Online Institute).

“Applying 18th Century thinking to 21st Century Problems” is a prerequisite for “Know your Von Mises to Pieces”, to be offered next semester.

"Innovators and creative geniuses cannot be reared in schools. They are precisely the men who defy what the school has taught them.” Ludwig Von Mises.

(Bloggers Note: This was true of my school mates who pursued careers in delinquency)

*Applications from geniuses will not be accepted.

** Accredited "Ontheborderline University" Doctorates will be awarded for successfully posting any anti-Liberal insult . Please add $5.95 for shipping and handling.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yo Andy...

Maybe Dr. Bill D., PhD,i.e. Piled Higher and Deeper, would do an exceedingly long von Mises quote to contribute to your efforts. But I think OTBL'er Luke said it best and he said, "Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnen mihi dahis, ad caput tuun saxum immane mittan." I looked this up and I means...I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head."

That's pretty heavy for a guy that's spent five years in 8th grade. If he signs up for the class, I pay for his box of crayons.

Andy Rand said...

Hey Ho El,
Don't worry about the crayons, they're government issue (sorry only 2 colors, Iraqi desert brown, and
corporate welfare green.) But funds are tight for scissors and glue for cutting and pasting.
Our graduates don't waste anywhere near 8 years of book learning. Our motto's "Cut the check, what the heck, here's your sheepskin". I'm really hoping
TownCryBaby enrolls. We won't have to worry about him
losing his spot because of that genius exception. He doesn't seem to like to catapult rocks. He's much better at slinging mud at little girls.