Enrollment Limited for Fictitious Fishing Class
The Hudson School District stunned teachers, parents and students today as they officially announced an enrollment limit in the Hudson High School fictitious fishing class.
Those who were considering enrolling in the non-existent class might have found it listed in the class offering handbook as PE 00-0000H20, if it had ever been offered as an official Phy. Ed. class, but of course it never has been or will be. Rumors continue to persist that the fictious fishing class had been responsible for wasting untold amounts of taxpayer funds. Despite continued public statements by the district that the class doesn’t and never has existed, the rumors have persisted, fanned by the perpetually ignorant comments of bloggers on a local anti-education website, http://www.ontheborderline.net. Bloggers and School Board detractors have successfully convinced numerous Hudson residents that the class has had staggering enrollment. In an attempt to set the record straight the district announced today that the enrollment in the fishing class that never existed will be limited to zero. That’s right, none, nobody, no-one, no way.
Ontheborderline bloggers who continue to insist that the class does exist and who wish to enroll as part of the district's Foolish Adult Education Program can do so by filling out the appropriate forms at http://www.Iamasucker.edu. A $75 enrollment fee and $ 25 class supply fee will be immediately charged to your credit card for hook, line, sinker and worms. Don’t let that big one get away.
8 comments:
I college, I took the first sport fishing class ever offered at UWRF. I'm not sure they still offer it, but I will attest to its importance in my simple life.
Two days after completing the class, I took a canoe trip down the St. Croix. An hour after pushing off from St. Croix Falls, I caught a six pound small mouth bass. Even though it was two days later before I could get it weighed, it won me $15 in the Dick's Bar fishing contest. Had I entered it in the St. Paul Pioneer-Press contest, I would have taken second place for the year.
And they say education doesn't pay!
Congratulations on you completion of the fishing class. Just think if you took this imaginary class, you could catch fish any size you could dream up. Instead of $15 you could win a bass boat or something really nice.
Sounds like you took that class a long time ago when the Socialists really ran the roost.
From what I'm reading from Taxboy, what they really need at the school is a class on used car salemenship. Let's propose that at the next school board meeting.
I really like that toxic mercury glow on the fish. In my imagination it would be green but I guess that's the beauty of a fantasy world, it can be anything you want to make up, kinda like the fishing class.
You lefties may not know this, but murcury is not toxic. There is no such thing as mercury poisoning. That is all a bunch of junk science pushed on the unsuspecting citizens of our country to stop corporate America from enhancing the environment and their bottom lines at the same time. Maybe you should spend less time drinking your lattes and more time watching FOX News.
Welcome to the other side of the border.
You might want to mix a little mercury into that kool aide you're drinking and see how you feel in a few days:-)
I'm joking I don't really want anyone to get sick.
Thanks for posting. I think you can be sure we won't agree with this and be flipping over to Fox (Though I did watch them execute that spin to blame to mayor and gov down in the hurricane zone.) That wasn't one of the Turd blossems best ideas, but then again what did he have to work with? A less than adaquate disaster response even in the words of his boss.
You know there was a pretty wise older gentleman that probably sees things more the way people on your side of the border do, yet, he had a really inciteful comment on the schools post,
about people believing what they choose to believe. And I think he could be right about a lot of things. If you listen to the environmental left, we are all going to die tommorrow of mercury poisoning. If I listened to you and Fox news, All of this is junk science and we might as well empty the carbage can into the river. Now be honest with yourself. You know that the truth is somewhere in the middle of that. Think about it and let's see if we can get a little more commone sense around here.
BTW, the post was about the non-existent fishing class. You may want to dig up some evidence that there is or was one.
One more thing, I really think you deserve an award for breaking ranks
with the borderliners and having the courage to come here and join the debate. As you'll probably discover, we are unlikely to agree, but I hope people here refrain from calling you names, deleting your posts, and kicking you off the blog like some of our competition does.
Sorry, but you got it all wrong on this side of the border. Bush is probably one of the most environmental-friendly presidents we've ever had. He's just not caving in to the tree-hugging, solcialists that makeup the eco-alarmist. You know the ones, they are always doing their chicken-little dance and singing "the sky is falling." Why should I have to pay higher taxes to all government levels and high prices at the grocery store to save a few fish and birds? The whining about drilling in the Alaska National Wildlife Reserve is just ignorant. I was listening to Rush the other day and he said they only want to drill in a four square mile area of ANWR that covers thousands of square miles. It's like a postage stamp in a football field for crying out loud!
Here's more proof of President Bush's environmental friendliness. I read this short story in the St. Paul paper the other day.
EPA Proposed Pesticide-Test Ban
The Environmental Protection Agency on Wednesday proposed banning pesticide testing on pregnant women and children. The move followed criticism that the government's reliance on human pestiticde tests has irresponsibly endangered vulnerable people. Critics, however, said the proposed regulation, the agency's first aimed at human pesticide testing conducted with or without government funding, contains too many loophoes. Among them is not banning the use of data from unintentional or everyday exposure of pregnant women and children to posticides. The rule is subject to a 90-day public comment period, and the agency aims to implement it by Jan. 29.
----
Personally, I think we need to use humans for testing pesticides and such. Maybe not pregnant woman, but certainly children so that we can study the long term effects. Afterall, you can do all the testing you want on mice and rats, but we are humans and what's bad for a mouse is not necessarily bad for a human.
Also, I don't believe the government should be in the chemical testing business. This should be totally up to private industry. Private industry has better paid scientists than the government and it is in their best interest to oversee the safey of chemicals and pesticide. They are the experts! That is only common sense.
All this pesticide banning came about because of the propaganda that Rachel Carson put out in "Silent Spring." To quote Steve Milloy of www.junkscience.com and a highly respect science expert on FOX News, "Silent Spring" is "nothing more than a slapdash collection of inane factoids and half-told anecdotes woven together with scary overtones."
You lefties need to start paying attention to the right side of the border. We are call "right," because we are correct. You are called "left," because you are telling only half the story. You should really be labelled "left-out."
You are right Lucas, or do I mean correct? I'm not really sure what Rush thinks about that but I'll ditto it.I know we have to drill in ANWR cause we need more American Oil. You know even if all that American Oil gets sold to Japan sort of like Prudhoe Bay at least we know we was the one's that found it.
Some of the things you all are talkin 'bout's way over my head so I'll just keep listening to Rush so I know what to Ditto. Lucas you get these lefties corrected good and right, will ya?
Oh before I forget. All the fish I've been catch have a green glow so fix that up before the DNR comes and confiscates your rod and reel.
Maybe it's time to put a new worm on my hook? There's so much talk about the fishing class during school board elections and by public ed. detractors during at board meetings. But no one here
must care if the fishing class is full or not. (I'll have to take note the next time this issue comes up).
Post a Comment