Fore!
Local Borderline blogger and renowned school board and internet annoyance,
Mr. Peanut, sustained serious injuries this afternoon after being mistaken for a driving range golf ball at a local Hudson Golf Course. Area golf enthusiast Bob "The Cubical Lawyer" gave the following account of the incident to ATBL's golf beat reporter.
"I simply mistook Mr. Peanut for one of the range balls. It' a mistake anyone could have made. Mr. Peanut is small, bald, yellow, dimply and insignificant, like all the other range balls. The only feature that distinguished him from the others was his pink band. How was I to suspect he would jump up on my golf tee and accost me in the middle of my swing? I was practicing my drive to improve my distance, but as fate would have it I nailed this one. All I could do was watch as Mr. Peanut sailed nearly 300 yards down the fairway. I wish all my other drives were as good!"
Mr. Peanut was unavailable for comment and local hospital officials would
not release details of his condition.
4 comments:
Not a bad swing - he must escape from his cubicle and hit the links a lot. Of course, with his wife making $80,000 a year as a teacher, he can afford a lot of golf lessons. But with reports like this, who can really take him seriously anymore? He must be so lonely. His education buddies hate him and even Mr. Peanut doesn't try to push his golf bag stash on him anymore. All he has left in this world is his Callaway balls.
If this cubical lawyer can whack Mr.
Peanut 300 yards, what could he do to a REAL small, bald, yellow, dimply and insignificant, range ball. Heck, sign me up for some lessons with him.
It looks like Mr. Peanut is enjoying the ride too.
I wish I'd studied Art in college! I never knew it could be so lucrative. But of course, it isn't. Onemolie,(AKA N.Onimous) just likes to keep his reputation alive by telling lies about teacher salaries. I'll bet Science teachers must make $100,000/year. Yeah right!
Did this take place at Newton Field? Best place to hit golf balls this time of year, annoy the neighbors, and enjoy a cup of coffee!
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