President Bush Releases Transcripts of Daughter's Phone Conversations

Fruit Don't Stumble Too Far From The Tree...

President Bush has come under fire of late for the disclosure that, in the days after September 11 (and even still), the government has been secretly wiretapping certain Americans' conversations. The legality of this has been called into question, but the President claims that the stealth program "enables us to move faster, and quicker, and that's important."

The Black Table has acquired transcripts of several secret conversations that President Bush had himself -- personally -- tapped into, and, having reviewed them, it's impossible to deny that he's right. A few snippets:

September 23, 2002.
9:07 p.m.
Austin, Tex.

(phone rings; transmission begins)
Unidentified Male, a.k.a. "Jimmy": Hello?

Jenna Bush, First Daughter: (hiccupping) Hi, Jimmy. What's taking you so long?

"Jimmy": Jenna, honestly. Your father is the president. There's absolutely no reason you can't get your own alcohol. You'll be 21 in two months. And you sound bombed already.

Jenna Bush: Oh, come on, you know the tightass Secret Service guy won't let me out of his sight. Do you know how hard it was to sneak out to go to the Pi Kapps party last night? By the way, do you remember what ended up happening? Everything after 9 is pretty much a blur.

"Jimmy": (long pause) No. I, uh, have no idea. I think I, um, left early. Yeah. Um … you don't either, do you?

Jenna Bush: No! Isn't that crazy? It's all a blur; I think I blacked out again.
"Jimmy": Good. I mean, oh, yeah, crazy.

Jenna Bush: So, are you coming over?

"Jimmy": Listen, just sit tight. I'll be over there in 20 minutes; I'm trying to get my roommate off the ceiling. I think someone taped him up there last night.

Jenna Bush: Fine! Hurry, though. I think my secret service guy is drunk again. I can't believe they have a young guy do this job. He's cute, though. (giggling)

"Jimmy": You got it. I'll bring the mayonnaise.

Jenna Bush: Oh, and Jimmy?
"Jimmy": Yes?

Jenna Bush: Hook 'em, Horns!

"Jimmy": Hook 'em!
(transmission ends)

President Bush: Hook 'em!

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(Note from JPN: Personally, I respect President Bush's daughters for being human beings. My Dad used to say something like "as you get older, don't forget what it was like to be young.")